With or Without You
by xxLittle Black Dressxx
Summary: A wedding between an unlikely couple reunites Addison with someone from her past.
1. Amazed

A/N: This story is set towards the end of the seventh season in Grey's Anatomy and the fourth season of Private Practice. It's going to be a multi-chapter story (not sure how many chapters yet) and each chapter will be named after a popular first dance wedding song to go along with the story's wedding theme. I hope you like the first chapter, and please review – I love hearing what you think! :)

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><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 1: Amazed**

"Hey, Archer; this is a surprise," Addison said, as she let her brother into her beach house. "What are you doing here?"

"Addison," Archer grinned, hugging his sister tightly, "it's so good to see you."

"Yeah, it's good to see you too but, seriously, Archer, what are you doing here? And what do you want?"

"How do you know I want something?" Archer asked defensively. "Can't I just be visiting my favorite sister?"

Addison raised her eyebrow skeptically. "What do you want, Archer?"

"Have you noticed anything different about me?" Archer asked, ignoring Addison's question.

Addison gave her brother the once over: his hair looked practically the same as it had the last time she had seen him, he still dressed impeccably, and he still had the same slim but muscular build. Nothing seemed different. "Have you lost weight?" she asked, fumbling to think of something.

"Actually, I've gained three pounds," Archer said dryly, "but thanks for bringing that up."

"Oh, um, sorry, I guess," Addison apologized with a shrug.

"Don't be," Archer grinned. "I'm happy…that's the difference, Addie. I'm really, truly, undeniably happy. And you'd put on a little weight too if you had a fiancé that bakes as well as mine does."

"A what?" Addison asked is surprise. "You have a what?" she asked again, putting her hand against the wall in an attempt to stabilize herself. Archer couldn't have a fiancé.

" I'm engaged, Addie! I'm engaged!" Archer declared gleefully.

"Oh, wow, um, congratulations, Archer. That's…that's wonderful," Addison stammered, still fighting the dizziness that had come over her ever since Archer had first dropped the word 'fiancé.'

"Thanks," Archer beamed. Then looking at his sister, he asked, "You okay, Addie? You look a little pale."

"Um, maybe we could sit down," Addison suggested. "It's just a lot to digest, that's all." That was the understatement of the year; digesting the fact that Archer was engaged, and happy about it, was like digesting cardboard. Her brother belonged to an exclusive tier of man whores, reserved only for the biggest and most shameless man whores. She was pretty sure that he and Mark Sloan were the only two members. And, lately, Mark had been turning over a new leaf.

"Good idea; let's sit down," Archer said, cutting into Addison's thoughts. "This way we can hash out the details of the wedding."

"The wedding?" Addison choked out, as she sat down on the couch. This was all too real.

"Addison, I know it's been a while since you did the whole marriage thing, but you know as well as anyone that an engagement culminates in a wedding. So, yes, I want to discuss wedding details with you."

"Wh-why?" Addison asked.

"Because you're my best man," Archer answered, as if it were obvious.

"I'm your what?" Addison asked breathlessly, pinching herself on the arm. This had to be some kind of awful dream.

"My best man," Archer repeated slowly.

"You know, Archer, that's traditionally a guy's job," Addison retorted. "Just in case the whole 'man' part of 'best man' didn't give that away."

"Nobody cares about that crap anymore," Archer said flippantly. "Besides, the maid of honor is a man, so it's actually pretty perfect. And it's not like I have any close guy friends anyway. Men don't really like it when you sleep with their wives or girlfriends."

"I could have told you that," Addison said dryly. "Oh, and in case we're keeping score, women don't like it when you sleep with their husbands or ex-husbands or whatever."

"So I take it you're still pretending to be in love with Sam?" Archer asked smugly.

"Shut up, Archer."

"Come on, Addie, don't be coy with me. What's the deal with you two?"

"Sam and I aren't together anymore," Addison informed her brother.

"Oh thank goodness!" Archer exclaimed. "I feel like there should be a choir somewhere over our shoulders singing a couple choruses of 'Hallelujah,' don't you?"

"Not really," Addison answered flatly.

"Addison, this is a good thing. Trust me. I know it might hurt now, but you and Sam did not work. I mean, even Beethoven could have seen that."

"Beethoven was deaf, not blind, Archer," Addison said dryly.

"Whatever," Archer said dismissively. Look, I like Sam. A lot. But come on, Addie, admit it, you were in a weird place when you dated him. I mean, I don't think I ever saw you so unhappy."

"Geez, Archer, don't hold back," Addison retorted. "And I'm not hurting," she added angrily.

"Well, that's the spirit," Archer said encouragingly.

Addison glared at her brother, "Look, Sam and I wanted different things and, you're right, I wasn't happy, and neither was he. So we broke up. It was very adult."

"So you guys are on good terms?" Archer asked.

"We're okay," Addison answered cautiously.

"Good, because I want to ask him to be one of my groomsmen; you're okay with that, right?"

"It's your wedding, Archer," Addison told her brother, still trying to wrap her head around how weird that sentence felt coming out of her mouth.

"Good," Archer smiled. "So, my groomsmen are gonna be Sam, Mark, and Derek."

"Oh my God; I slept with _all_ of your groomsmen," Addison groaned, massaging her temples with her hands.

"Here, have a muffin," Archer offered, pulling a bag of muffins out of his travel bag. "They're really good, and they'll make you feel better."

"Thanks," Addison said, accepting the baked good from her brother.

"Good, right?" Archer grinned, as Addison took a bite.

"Yeah," Addison agreed. "Hey, Archer, where did you buy these muffins? I feel like I've had them before."

"Oh, my fiancé baked them. She's a fantastic baker, and muffins are her specialty. Funny story, Addie, you actually-"

"I still can't believe I've slept with all of your groomsmen," Addison interrupted. "How awkward is that?"

"Don't worry about it, Addie," Archer reassured her. "Iz and I both faced and overcame what should have been fatal diseases or conditions, so we don't care if our wedding is the picture of appropriateness. There's more to life than that."

Addison nodded. When did Archer become such a grownup? Maybe this Iz woman was good for him.

"So, it doesn't matter if you slept with all of the groomsmen," Archer continued. "Izzie's ex-husband is her best man. That's a lot more awkward and inappropriate, don't you think?"

Addison swallowed hard as the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place – Izzie...the muffins…the surviving what should have been a fatal disease…the ex-husband…Izzie. It couldn't be the same Izzie from Seattle Grace. Fate or bad luck or maybe a bit of both had convinced Addison time and time again that the phrase, 'it's a small world,' was more than just a cliché; but maybe, _just maybe _this one time she could catch a break. There had to be more than one person named Izzie who baked incredible muffins, had survived a fatal disease, and had gotten a divorce. There just had to be.

"Uh, tell me, Archer," Addison began hesitantly, "what's Izzie's last name?"

"Oh that's the great part," Archer grinned, as Addison tried to calm her nerves by putting another piece of muffin into her mouth, "you already know my fiancé. You worked with her in Seattle. I'm engaged to Izzie Stevens!"

"So, wait," Addison clarified through a mouthful of muffin, "if you're engaged to Izzie Stevens, that means her maid of honor is-" but before she could get the name out, she began choking on her muffin.

Archer, who was too wrapped up in his own excitement to notice his sister's predicament, clapped his hands together gleefully, "That means the maid of honor is Alex Karev!" he declared. "You know, he's actually a pretty good guy, Addie, and I like him a lot…considering he's my fiancé's ex-husband and all. Izzie told me that you worked pretty closely with him back when you were in Seattle," Archer went on, as Addison continued to choke. "Oh, shit, Addie!" Archer exclaimed, finally turning his attention to his sister. "Don't worry, I'm CPR certified," he reassured her, as he hit her forcefully on the back.

"Seriously, Archer," Addison complained, once she had stopped choking. "Were you trying to sever my spine? What kind of CPR was that? Aren't you supposed to be a doctor?"

"Are you still choking?" Archer asked his sister smugly.

"No," Addison admitted, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, I noticed that too. So I believe the appropriate response should be, 'Thank you, Archer.'"

"Thank you, Archer," Addison muttered.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Archer teased. "Anyway, I should have been prepared for this."

"Prepared for what?" Addison asked in confusion.

"I should have seen this coming," Archer explained. "When Izzie and I told Alex that you were my best man, he spit his beer out all over me. I think it was accidental, but I _am _marrying his ex-wife, so it's hard to be completely sure. Anyway, beer in the eye hurts."

"I'll keep that in mind," Addison said dryly. "So Alex, I mean, Karev…Karev is on board with this?"

"I mean, he's not thrilled," Archer confessed. "But can you really blame him? He and Izzie didn't exactly end on the best of terms. But he came around, and that's all that matters. And I think it's okay if you call him Alex," Archer said. "After all, you two are the best man and maid of honor; you're gonna get to know each other pretty well."

"Right," Addison sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"And, hey, look at it this way," Archer continued, "at least there's one man in the wedding party that you didn't sleep with."

Addison glared at her brother.

"Oh," he said in surprise. "So you slept with Alex too? Uh, good for you, I guess."

"Shut up, Archer,"

"Hey, look at it this way, I'm in the wedding party, and you didn't sleep with me so, there you go, there _is_ one guy in the wedding party that you didn't sleep with. Kudos, Addie!"

"I'm serious, Archer. Just because you're engaged now doesn't mean you can act all entitled."

"Can you blame me?" Archer asked with a laugh. "My best man slept with my fiancé's maid of honor. Isn't that rich?"

"It was a one time thing right before I moved to LA," Addison explained. "Nothing came of it…and I think us sleeping together is one of the few secrets that hasn't gotten out at Seattle Grace, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything to anyone."

"Okay," Archer agreed. Then with a smirk he added, "Only you would find a way to sleep with both sides of the wedding party. Only you."

"Shut up. You can't talk," Addison retorted.

"I'm not saying anything. I actually find it endearing. So, anyway, Alex and Izzie are at our hotel dropping off our things and getting ready for tonight. I figured we could all come over to your place for a little bride, groom, best man, maid of honor thing."

"Wait, tonight?" Addison asked in surprise.

"Yes," Archer nodded. "Does seven work for you? I already found a place where we can get appetizers and dinner from, so you don't have to worry about cooking."

"How considerate of you," Addison said sarcastically.

"I thought so," Archer grinned. "So, I'll see you at seven," Archer said making his way towards the door. "And thank you so much, Addie, for agreeing to host dinner at your place. You're already proving to be a great best man."

"I didn't really have a choice in the matter," Addison mumbled angrily.

"Great, I'm looking forward to tonight too," Archer said, completely ignoring her. "See you in a couple of hours, Addie!"


	2. Bless the Broken Road

A/N: Thank you so much for the nice feedback on this story! I really appreciate it! I hope you like the next chapter – Bless the Broken Road. It's one of my favorite first dance wedding songs. :) Thanks for reading, and reviews are greatly appreciated!

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><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 2: Bless the Broken Road**

"Thank you so much for having us over, Dr. Montgomery," Izzie smiled, as Addison let her, Archer, and Alex into her house.

"Oh, that's fine," Addison replied. "And since you _are_ marrying my brother, I think you should probably call me Addison."

"Great," Izzie grinned, pulling Addison into a tight hug.

"Uh, Karev, it's, uh, it's nice to see you again," Addison stammered, doing her best to appear as professional as possible.

"Uh, yeah, it's nice to see you too, Dr. Montgomery," Alex replied politely.

"Okay, this formal crap has got to go," Archer insisted, stepping between Alex and Addison. "Clearly, you two have some kind of awkward unresolved history, but you're our best man and maid of honor, so you need to push all that behind you. From now on, you two are Alex and Addison. Not Dr. Montgomery, Not Dr. Karev. You're Alex and Addison, got it?"

Alex and Addison nodded.

"What do you mean they have an awkward unresolved history?" Izzie asked her fiancé.

"It's nothing," Addison and Alex said quickly, meeting each other's eyes and quickly looking away from each other.

"Yeah, it's nothing, my ass," Archer smirked.

Addison shot him a dirty look. "Let's start drinking," she suggested.

"Good idea," Alex agreed, nodding his head emphatically. He still had no idea why he had agreed to go along with this whole fiasco in the first place.

"Um, Alex, why don't you help Addison pour the champagne," Izzie suggested.

Alex nodded, as he silently followed Addison into the kitchen. "Um, Dr. Mont, I mean, Addison, I'm not an expert on this, but don't you usually drink champagne out of champagne flutes?" Alex asked, as he watched Addison place two whiskey glasses on the table.

"No, you're right," Addison told him, making her way to the liquor cabinet and pulling out a bottle of scotch. "It's just I'm gonna need something a little stronger first. And from the looks of it, so do you," she explained, pouring way more that a shots-worth of liquid into their glasses.

"Thanks," Alex said, gratefully accepting the glass of scotch.

Addison smiled at him, and Alex knew it was going to be a long weekend. He wasn't thrilled that his ex-wife was getting remarried, but he had come to terms with it. But why couldn't Izzie make things easier on him by marrying some random guy? Why did she have to marry Archer Montgomery, and inevitably bring Addison back into his life? It's not like he and Addison had even dated or anything but, still, every time Shepherd or Sloan or somebody mentioned her name, or every time she returned to Seattle for a case, Alex couldn't help himself from wondering how his life might have turned out if things between them had gone down differently back when she lived in Seattle.

"You okay?" Addison asked, cutting into his thoughts.

"Yeah," Alex said quickly. "I'm just still trying to wrap my head around all of this. The scotch helps."

"I don't hear champagne being opened," Archer's voice called out from the living room

"Well isn't this perfect?" Addison muttered dryly, draining the rest of her scotch, and retrieving four champagne flutes from the cabinet, while Alex took a bottle of champagne out of the refrigerator. "You get the nice, easygoing bride, and I get Groomzilla. Go figure."

"Hey, at least you weren't married to Archer," Alex pointed out.

"Alex, if I were married to Archer, we'd have even bigger problems on our hands." Addison smirked. "But, yes, point taken. This sucks for you too."

xxxxx

"Okay, we've got champagne," Addison said with forced enthusiasm, as she and Alex made their way back into the living room.

"Great," Archer grinned, accepting a glass of champagne and handing one to Izzie, as they sat down on the couch together, leaving the couch next to it open. Alex and Addison exchanged a glance before following suit and sitting down as well, each awkwardly clinging to their side of the couch, making sure that they didn't accidentally touch each other.

Archer rolled his eyes as he observed the interaction between his sister and Alex. "Yeah, nothing's going on," he said to himself.

Addison glared at her brother. "So, when's the wedding?" she asked, desperately trying to redirect the conversation.

"Exactly three months from today," Archer grinned.

"Three months?" Addison asked in surprise. "Archer, it takes a lot longer than three months to plan a wedding. I mean, none of the banquet halls are going to have openings, the church probably won't be available. You need to give the bakery that makes your wedding cake more than three months notice. Do you realize how hard it's going to be to find a band? Or are you using a DJ? Have you even thought about that? Have you-"

"Hey, Alex," Archer interrupted, "could you do me a favor and pour us all some more champagne? And make sure you fill Addie's glass all the way. She's killing my buzz."

"Well, I'm sorry for being concerned about _your_ wedding," Addison snapped.

"Relax, Addie," Archer laughed. "We've got it all figured out. Izzie and I have already spoken to the people at the banquet halls, and we've already decided on a bakery, and a band. Money talks, this I know. And people are more than willing to put up with time crunches when you're paying them a lot of money, which I am."

"Bizzy would be so proud," Addison muttered. "So, what are Alex and I supposed to do for you this weekend, then?"

"Nothing too serious," Izzie answered. "Just come to the banquet halls with us, taste some cakes with us, let us know what you think of the band…that kind of stuff. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are coming out to California in a month and a half to try on dresses and tuxedos. But that's a ways away."

"Well, it seems like you two have it all figured out," Addison said.

"We make a good team," Archer smiled.

Addison nodded. "How did you guys meet, anyway?"

"Oh, it's a great story," Izzie gushed. "You're just gonna love it, Addie." She paused for a moment, contemplating the words that had just left her mouth. "Hmm…Addie," she reflected. "Too much too soon?"

"I think so," Addison nodded.

"Right," Izzie breathed. "Anyway, the story of how Archer and I met. Archer, you actually tell it better. You should tell it."

"Okay," Archer grinned. "So Chief Bowers from San Diego Medical called me to work on a high profile case, and on the very first day I got there, I started sleeping with one of the doctors. Nothing serious…you know how I used to roll. Anyway, this woman was a cute blonde, and one day, at the hospital, I thought it would be a nice surprise to come up behind her and smack her ass."

"Only he didn't smack her ass," Izzie laughed.

"Yeah, I smacked Izzie's ass," Archer smiled. "Which was lucky for me because Izzie's ass is a million times better than the other doctor's," Archer added with a wink, as Alex and Addison drained their champagne. Addison picked up the champagne bottle and refilled everyone's glasses.

"At first I completely lost it on him," Izzie continued.

"But she couldn't resist my charm and, eventually, she stopped yelling at me," Archer added.

"And we've been inseparable ever since," Izzie finished.

"Yeah, best three months of my life," Archer grinned, meeting Izzie's eyes.

"Three months?" Addison choked out. "You've only been together for three months?"

"We know it's fast," Archer started, "but when it's right, it's right. And, Addie, this is right."

"Well, um, that's great then," Addison said, giving her brother and Izzie a forced smile. "Izzie, I had no idea you were living in California. How long have you been out here for?"

"About a year," Izzie answered. "I just needed a change, you know?"

"I hear that," Addison nodded. She could feel Alex's eyes on her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. "More champagne?" she asked quickly.

"Definitely," Archer grinned, opening another bottle.

xxxxx

"Whoa, we went through three bottles of champagne," Archer noted, pointing to the empty champagne bottles next to him.

"Yeah, there's no way I can drive back to the hotel," Alex added.

"Yeah, me neither," Izzie agreed, shooting Archer a questioning look.

"Yeah, I'm in no shape for driving either," Archer said.

"Should we call a cab or something?" Alex asked.

"We could do that," Archer began, a grin forming on his face. "Or we could all spend the night here."

"Excuse me?" Addison asked in surprise.

"Oh, come on, Addie, you have plenty of room. Besides, it will make things easier tomorrow, since we all have to leave early to look at banquet halls for the wedding. So, what do say?"

"I guess it's okay," Addison said hesitantly. "Archer and Izzie, you guys can stay in my downstairs guestroom, and Alex you can stay in my upstairs guestroom."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Izzie asked.

"It's fine," Addison said. "But, Archer, just remember, my house means my rules."

"What does that mean?" Archer asked.

"No sex under my roof," Addison supplied.

"Right," Archer said, rolling his eyes. "Hey, Izzie," he said with a smirk, "have you seen the beach behind the house?"

"It's late, Archer," Addison said exasperatedly. "You're not going to be able to see anything."

"Well, I want to show her anyway," Archer insisted, taking Izzie's hand and leading her out the back door. "Don't wait up for us, Addie," he grinned.

Addison watched their retreating figures. "Sex on the beach," she muttered.

"Oh, no thanks," Alex replied. "I don't do girly drinks, and between the scotch and the champagne, I think I'm done for the night."

"Not what I meant," Addison chuckled. "Archer and Izzie are having sex on the beach."

"You know, I think I will take you up on that drink after all," Alex said.

Addison nodded as she poured scotch for Alex and herself. "So," she began, emboldened by the liquor, "Are you still in love with your ex-wife?"

"No," Alex answered simply.

"No?" Addison asked incredulously. "So you're okay?"

"Yeah, you know, it's strange. I expected this horrible feeling, this wave of sadness or something to just take over... But... people get divorced... they meet new people, they remarry. I don't know," Alex trailed off.

"But you sort of wished it had been you first," Addison smirked.

"Oh, shut it," Alex retorted. "And you can't really talk, I mean, unless you want to explain why this wedding has you all bent out of shape."

"Would you believe me if I said I was a horrible person who didn't want my brother to be happy?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow."

"Maybe," Alex smirked. "But something tells me you're more messed up than that."

"You wouldn't understand how messed up I am," Addison sighed.

"Try me," Alex suggested.

Addison met Alex's eyes, expecting them to be playful and teasing, but all she saw was warmth and sincerity. It took her breath away. She couldn't remember the last time a man had looked at her that way. Sure, she and Sam had their moments, but even their best moments didn't compare to the way that Alex made her feel when he looked at her – like she was the only person who mattered; the only person in his world.

She swallowed hard and forced a slight laugh. "You don't need me to tell you that I've had some, uh…problems with relationships. I'm a cheater and I tend to date and sleep with inappropriate people, but Archer, he…he was always the same way, and knowing that somehow made me feel better. You know, it was like an excuse that allowed me to say that being bad at relationships runs in my family, or something. But, now…now Archer's getting married, and he seems committed and happy, so now I guess I just have face the fact that bad relationships don't run in my family. _I'm_ just bad at relationships."

"That makes no sense, you realize that, right?" Alex asked.

"You know, if I wanted to pour my heart out to someone and not be taken seriously, I would have just talked to Sam about this," Addison muttered.

"Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about," Alex started, "but I don't know where you get off saying that you're bad at relationships. You were married to Shepherd for what, like ten years, right?"

"Actually, it was eleven," Addison corrected him.

"Exactly," Alex said. "That's a lot longer than I was married for. And so you slept with and dated some inappropriate people? Who hasn't?"

"The last guy I dated was my best friend's ex-husband. If things would have worked out between us, I would have been a grandmother...well, a step-grandmother, but still. That's not why we broke up," Addison added quickly. "But I'm not Mark Sloan; I wouldn't have been able to pull off grandma."

"I don't know how to respond to that," Alex admitted.

"Just don't say anything," Addison advised.

"Um, okay. So, Izzie and Archer," he said, trying to change the subject.

"I know," Addison breathed. "I can't believe they've only been together for three months. I mean, if I married every guy I dated for three months, I'd have a lot more divorces under my belt. I'd have more divorces than shoes…well probably not, but you get the point."

"I wouldn't have too many more divorces," Alex reflected.

Addison chuckled. "I don't know," she continued, "it's just weird to think that we've known each other longer than they've known each other. Hell, our little flirtation, or whatever you want to call it, was longer than their relationship."

Alex grinned, "You know, if I had taken a page out of Archer and Izzie's book, and married you after three months of flirting or whatever was going on between us, I would have saved myself a whole lot trouble with the whole Ava fiasco."

"Alex."

"But then, of course, if we had followed their example, and did everything at warped speed, you'd still be freaking out about being a grandmother, because we'd definitely be grandparents by now."

Addison knew he was teasing, but, still, she couldn't help but remember Callie's words from several years ago: 'Guy's like Karev, they mess around a lot in their twenties, but then they pack it in and teach kids to play catch.' Okay, you've clearly had too much to drink, Addison thought to herself. You have to get through a wedding with this man; these types of crazy thoughts need to end here and now.

"You okay?" Alex asked. "It was just a joke."

Addison nodded. "You know, even if we did get married after three months of flirting or whatever, I don't think we'd be grandparents now," she said teasingly.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Definitely not; we'd kill each other after about a week of marriage."

"Maybe," Alex said, thoughtfully, "but I don't know, the sex would be too good for us to ax each other off completely."

"Right," Addison said sarcastically, "because it was _so_ good for you the first time."

"What are you talking about?" Alex asked, confused by the annoyance in her voice.

"Seattle," Addison retorted angrily. "We had sex, and then, hours later, you told me that I wasn't your girlfriend. Was the sex really that bad, Alex?"

"I told you it was awesome," Alex defended, "and I wasn't lying. It's just, I don't know, I was scared, okay. You were looking for the commitment guy, you were looking for _the _guy, and that wasn't me. But, Addison, you have to believe me, if sex were the basis for a relationship, I never in a million years would have you're not my girlfriend-ed you."

"So you've never dated someone purely for the sex?" Addison asked skeptically.

"Honestly, no. Look, I know I've had a lot of one night stands, but my serious relationships – the few that I've had – have always been about more than sex," Alex finished, meeting Addison's eyes. She didn't look angry anymore; in fact, her eyes had softened, and she was looking at him intently. "What?" he asked nervously. "You think I sound like a chick, right?"

Addison shrugged. "No. It's just, you always manage to surprise me," she said softly

Alex felt his heart swell at the compliment. He gave Addison a warm smile, and was instantly lost in her eyes. He didn't know who made the first move but, suddenly, they were kissing. He had forgotten how good it felt to kiss her, to breathe in her perfume, to run his hands through her hair. Addison pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss and, suddenly, the reality of the situation hit him. They couldn't go down this road again.

"Ad, Addison," Alex panted, "I, we, we can't do this."

"Why not?" Addison murmured against his lips. "We're just kissing; it's not sex. Please, Alex, just for tonight?"

"Addison," Alex breathed, pulling away from her slightly. "I just, I don't want things to be weird between us."

"They won't be," Addison assured him. "This means nothing; we're just kissing. And tomorrow, you can blame it on me, just like last time."

Alex's heart broke at this. "Maybe I don't want to blame you this time," he whispered. "Maybe I shouldn't have blamed you last time."

Alex watched the confusion play over Addison's features. "I kissed you back," he explained, tucking a stray piece of hair behind Addison's ear.

"Yeah, only because I was your boss," Addison said quietly.

"I think we both know that's not true," Alex said softly, meeting Addison's eyes.

Addison couldn't stop the smile that was forming on her face. Sure, that day in the supply closet was a long time ago but, still, it was nice to know for sure that the sparks that had flown between her and Alex hadn't just been in her head.

"I'll tell you what," Alex smiled, "how about I leave the kissing back part up to you this time?"

"I think I'd be okay with that," Addison agreed, as Alex softly brushed his lips against hers.

xxxxx

"Addison! Wake up!" Archer shouted, as he knocked on the door to Addison's bedroom. "It's 8:30; we need to be at the banquet hall by 10, and I know it takes you a while to get ready." Archer let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, I'm coming in there," he warned, as he opened the door. "Add-holy shit!" he exclaimed when he saw the sight in front of him – Addison and Alex asleep in each other arms. He couldn't tell for sure, but neither one appeared to be wearing clothes. "Okay," he demanded, "what the hell happened last night?"


	3. From This Moment

A/N: I hope you're liking the story so far. Here's the next chapter – From This Moment (because what would a wedding story be without this song). I hope you like it! Reviews are greatly appreciated!

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><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 3: From This Moment **

"_Addison! Wake up!" Archer shouted, as he knocked on the door to Addison's bedroom. "It's 8:30; we need to be at the banquet hall by 10, and I know it takes you a while to get ready." Archer let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, I'm coming in there," he warned, as he opened the door. "Add-holy shit!" he exclaimed when he saw the sight in front of him – Addison and Alex asleep in each other arms. He couldn't tell for sure, but neither one appeared to be wearing clothes. "Okay," he demanded, "what the hell happened last night?"_

"Why with the yelling," Addison complained as she groggily opened her eyes. "Shit!" she swore, as she looked over at Alex, who was in bed next to her, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Oh no…did last night, did you and me, seriously happen?"

"That's a rhetorical question, right?" Alex smirked.

Archer cleared to throat to remind them that he was still there. "Shit! Archer, get out of here!" Addison exclaimed. "What are you doing in here anyway?" she asked her brother, as she pulled the covers tightly around her body.

"Wondering why you're such a hypocrite," Archer teased. "You wouldn't let me have sex under your roof, but you clearly got some action last night."

"Archer, get out of my room!" Addison demanded.

"Hey, this reminds me of when we were kids…only this is way, way more awkward," Archer laughed.

"Archer," Izzie's voice called out. "I went to wake Alex up, but he's not in his – oh, holy mother of…oh, wow!" Izzie exclaimed, as she joined her fiancé in Addison's bedroom. "Archer, did they?"

"Definitely," Archer answered.

"On purpose?"

"I don't know. They've slept together before...in Seattle."

"We're right here," Alex interjected.

"And you promised me yesterday that you wouldn't say anything about me and Alex sleeping together in Seattle," Addison reminded her brother.

"Sorry, I forgot," Archer shrugged. "So, what's the deal with you two?"

"You two slept together in Seattle?" Izzie asked incredulously. "When?"

"As fun as this is," Alex cut in, "maybe we can continue this conversation at another time…you know, when Addison and I are wearing more than just a bed sheet and a comforter."

"Fine," Archer conceded, "but we need to leave by 9:30...so move your naked asses."

"Fine" Addison grumbled, shooting her brother a dirty look. "Just get out of my room."

"Alright," Archer grinned as he began to leave. Then turning around again, he smirked, "Just know, this is not over."

xxxxx

"You two are too hung over to drive, aren't you?" Archer accused, looking at Alex and Addison condescendingly.

"If you drive to the first couple of banquet halls and let me sleep this off, I'll do the rest of the driving," Addison bargained.

"Fine," Archer agreed, as he got into the driver's seat of his car and Izzie got into the passenger's seat. "Sorry, it's kind of a tight squeeze back there," he apologized to Alex and Addison, motioning to the backseat of his car, "but you two seemed pretty close this morning, so I'm sure you won't mind."

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the first banquet hall. "Are Addie and Alex asleep?" Archer asked Izzie, as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

Izzie turned to check on Alex and Addison. "Aw, Archer, you've got to see this," she smiled.

Archer turned in his seat to see what his fiancé was talking about; Alex and Addison were both asleep in the backseat. Her head was resting on his chest; his arms were wrapped around her.

"They make a cute couple," Izzie admitted.

"Wow, two awkward wakeup calls in one day," Archer muttered to himself. "Those two must have really done something to piss off the relationship gods."

"I feel kind of bad waking them," Izzie said. "I mean, they look so peaceful."

"I don't feel bad," Archer smirked. Then, turning his attention to Alex and Addison, he loudly teased, "Well, isn't this cozy?"

Alex and Addison tiredly opened their eyes, and looked at each other in horror when they realized the compromising position they were in.

"Well, at least you have your clothes on this time," Archer grinned, trying to break the tension. "Let's revisit our conversation from earlier, shall we? What's going on with you two?"

Alex swallowed nervously. Archer had been pretty cool with him so far. But Alex had been married to Archer's ex-wife, and now it looked like he was making a play for his sister. There was only so much a guy could take, and Alex did not want to get on Archer Montgomery's bad side. He had to set things right.

"Archer, this is not what it looks like," Alex reassured Addison's brother. "There is nothing going on between Addison and me, I swear."

Addison nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Last night was just old habits dying hard and, this, right now…well, um, Alex didn't mean to wrap his arms around me. We just ended up falling asleep that way."

"Are you really going to blame this on me?" Alex hissed. "It's not like I forced to you to rest your head on my chest."

"I thought you said, last night, that you weren't going to blame me in the morning," Addison shot back.

"Yeah, for the kiss. And I haven't, but you can't just pin this all on me."

Addison sighed exasperatedly. "You know what, it doesn't matter whose fault any of this was. The important thing is that it meant nothing. So let's move past it and check out this banquet hall."

"Not so fast," Archer cut in, looking at Addison and Alex sternly. "Before we do anything, you two need to talk."

"Archer, there's _nothing_ to talk about," Addison insisted.

"Except there is," Archer shot back. "You guys are having sex and falling asleep in each other's arms and then claiming that it's nothing. If you keep acting like this, you're gonna mess up the wedding pictures."

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Alex smirked. "What does one thing have to do with the other?"

"If you guys continue to go down this road, you're clearly setting yourself up for awkwardness. You're not gonna know how to act around each other. And you're going to be in a lot of wedding pictures together, and the last thing I need is for you guys to look stiff and awkward in the photos."

"Whatever happened to you not caring how awkward or appropriate your wedding was?" Addison asked.

"I still don't care. But I want the pictures to be good. So you two need to talk."

"Why don't we give them some privacy, and start checking out the banquet hall without them," Izzie suggested, as the four of them got out of the car.

Archer nodded, took her hand, and the couple walked into the banquet hall together, leaving Alex and Addison alone outside.

"So you wanna chalk last night up to a lapse in judgment?" Alex asked. "And I guess we can blame what happened today, in the car, on there not being a lot of room in the backseat, right? I mean, like you said last night, what happened between us didn't mean anything…so we should just stop. That seems like the obvious solution, right?"

"Not necessarily," Addison said thoughtfully.

"Wait, what?"

"Well, the way I see it, this wedding is going to be stressful on both of us," Addison explained. "And I don't know about you, but I thought that last night was a good way, a healthy way, to relieve some of that stress. So I was thinking that maybe we could continue to have sex, you know, just to help us get through the wedding."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Alex asked.

"Think about it," Addison insisted. "Don't you think it would be a lot less stressful doing things like cake tasting or dress shopping with your ex-wife if you knew you were going to have sex afterwards?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then what's to think about?" Addison asked. "I mean, unless you don't want to have sex with me."

"No, I definitely want to have sex with you," Alex assured her. "I just…are you sure you're okay with this?"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't," Addison said smugly.

"Okay, then," Alex agreed, "I'm in."

"Good," Addison smiled. "So we should probably set some ground rules."

"Such as…" Alex trailed off.

"Well, for starters, Archer and Izzie obviously can't know about this. So let's just tell them that us having sex was a one time thing and it's not happening anymore."

"Okay," Alex nodded.

"So, do you think we should have a rule against bringing dates to the wedding?" Addison asked.

"I'm not bringing a date," Alex said flatly. "I mean, I'm not seeing anyone, but even if I wanted to bring someone, how do you convince a woman to go with you to your ex-wife's wedding, especially when you're the maid of honor?"

Addison chuckled. "Good point. I'm not going to bring anyone either. I mean, I'm not seeing anyone and, even if I started dating someone within the next couple of months, it would still be way too soon to introduce him to my family."

"So no dates?" Alex asked.

"No dates," Addison agreed.

"Okay, that just leaves the timeframe. When should our sex agreement end?" Alex asked.

"How about the day of the wedding," Addison suggested. "That way you can use the reception to hit on drunk, single women, and I can use the reception to make bad decisions and probably end up sleeping with an ex of some sort."

Alex nodded, "Sounds good to me."

"Aren't you going to at least pretend to care, and discourage me from sleeping with an ex?" Addison asked.

Alex shrugged, "I don't know. Is me saying something really going to make a difference?"

"You're such an ass," Addison said, shaking her head. "Now, come on, let's go check out some banquet halls."

"You know," Alex grinned, "usually checking out a bunch of banquet halls with my ex-wife and her fiancé would be an unbearable way to spend a day, but knowing that we're gonna have hot sex later…it's really taking the edge off. This is a great idea, Addison."

xxxxx

"So I think Archer and Izzie bought it," Addison said on the car ride home. "I mean, I really think they believed us when we told them that we're not having sex anymore."

From the passenger's seat, Alex glanced behind him at Alex and Izzie, who were fast asleep in the backseat of the car. "They definitely bought it," he grinned, "which is good because, honestly, knowing that I was going to have sex with you tonight is the only thing that got me through today."

"Flirting and flattery aren't necessary," Addison smirked from the driver's seat.

"Hey, who's flirting? Who's flattering?" Alex asked innocently. "You and I have amazing sex, and I've been looking forward to it all day. I was just stating the facts."

Addison tried to keep the smile that was forming on her face in check. "So, tonight, let's tell Archer and Izzie that they should go out for a romantic dinner alone. And we'll just say that we're going to order pizza and that I'll drive you back to the hotel."

"Sounds good," Alex said seductively, grazing Addison's thigh with his hand.

"Hey, I'm driving, here," Addison warned. Then, with a hint of flirtation in her voice, she added, "They'll be plenty of time for that tonight."

Behind them, Izzie cautiously opened her eyes and quickly shut them again. Alex and Addison had no idea that she had overheard their entire conversation. She knew her fiancé would be pissed if he found out that his sister and Alex had lied to them and, even though she and Archer had agreed never to keep secrets from each other, Izzie was intrigued by the idea of Addison and Alex. So she decided that she might conveniently forget to tell Archer about what she had overheard because Izzie was a romantic, and Alex and Addison deserved a chance.


	4. Unchained Melody

A/N: I hope you're liking the story so far! Here's the next chapter – Unchained Melody. I hope you like it, and reviews are greatly appreciated! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 4: Unchained Melody**

"Who in the world could possibly be ringing the doorbell at this ungodly hour?" Addison mumbled tiredly, as she shifted in Alex's arms. "I guess I should probably get that?" she sighed in frustration.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Alex asked.

"That's okay," Addison said. "It's probably just Violet or Pete or someone from the practice, who doesn't comprehend the fact that most normal people aren't up this early. You should get some more sleep. You're going to need your energy; we're going wedding cake tasting and listening to the band that's going to play at Izzie and Archer's wedding."

"Sounds like things we shouldn't have to do," Alex laughed. "We should probably have sex beforehand, you know, to take the edge off."

Addison shot him a seductive look to let him know she was up for it. "I'm going to wear this," she said, slipping Alex's Iowa State t-shirt over her head. "I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind," Alex smiled. "It looks better on you, anyway."

Addison smiled. "Well, I guess I should probably see who's at the door," she said, making her way out of the room.

"Izzie," Addison said in surprise as she opened the door. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

Izzie glanced at Addison's t-shirt, and Addison was suddenly aware of how suspicious the whole situation probably looked.

But Izzie didn't say a word about Addison's shirt. She just gave Addison a cheerful smile. "I called Alex's room phone this morning and he didn't answer, so I figured that you guys probably drank too much last night and, being the responsible person that you are, you must have let him spend the night in one of your guestrooms instead of driving him home."

"That," Addison began, with a smile "is exactly what happened last night."

"I figured as much," Izzie nodded. "Anyway, I was out picking up some coffee and breakfast for me and Archer, and I figured that Alex probably needed a change of clothes for today. I didn't know what to bring, so I just brought his entire bag."

"Oh, um, thanks," Addison said, accepting Alex's Iowa State wrestling sports bag from Izzie. She glanced from the bag to her shirt, and silently cursed her bad luck. Izzie was a very smart woman; she was obviously going to connect the dots. "This, uh, this isn't what it looks like," Addison stammered.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," Izzie said, doing her best not to burst out laughing. Even if she hadn't overheard their conversation in the car, a day earlier, it was still painfully obvious that Addison had slept with Alex last night. Pretending that she hadn't had to be so awkward for her.

"The shirt," Addison explained. "You probably think it's Alex's."

"Oh, I didn't even realize you were wearing an Iowa State shirt," Izzie said innocently. "Hey it matches Alex's bag."

Addison nodded. "Yeah, I bought this shirt recently. I was at a…a medical conference at Iowa State, last month, and I, just, I really liked the campus…beautiful school…so I bought a shirt."

"It's nice," Izzie complimented.

"Thank you," Addison smiled. "It's very comfortable too; great for sleeping in."

"That's good," Izzie nodded, still fighting a fit of laughter. She and Addison had had their share of awkward conversations, but this one was just ridiculous. "Well, if you ever find your way back to Iowa, definitely pick one up for me."

"Oh, I will," Addison nodded. Wow, Addison thought to herself, is Izzie really buying this crap? Didn't she go to medical school? Maybe I'm just a good liar.

"Well, I should probably get back to Archer," Izzie said.

"Right," Addison agreed. "And I should get back to Al- I mean, I should get back to bed. Anyway, thanks for dropping off Alex's stuff. I'll be sure to give it to him…when I see him…which I haven't yet, so…yeah."

"Great, thanks. See you later, Addison."

"Right, see you later, Izzie," Addison replied closing the door.

xxxxx

"I've always liked the traditional vanilla cake with vanilla frosting, and some type of fruit swirl in the middle," Izzie said as she, Archer, Addison, and Alex walked into the bakery.

"No way," Archer insisted, "we should have a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and no lame fruit filling in the center."

"Well, this is why we're here," Izzie smiled. "To test out all the options."

"You're here, you're here!" came a frantic voice from the back of the bakery. "We were up all night baking samples for you to try!" a disheveled woman in an apron exclaimed, as she walked up to Alex, Addison, Archer, and Izzie. "I'm Florence, the owner and head baker," the woman said, extending her hand to Alex. "It's great to meet you, Archer. And Izzie," Florence grinned, pulling Addison in for a hug. "You are just as beautiful as your fiancé said. And, I must say, you two make a very attractive couple; just lovely."

"Uh, thanks," Addison stammered, "but, actually, we're not Archer and Izzie. They are," she explained, gesturing towards where Archer and Izzie were standing. "We're just the best man and maid of honor."

"Oh, well, this is embarrassing," Florence laughed. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you…the real you," she said to Archer and Izzie, putting an arm around each of them. "Let me show you to the back. That's where we have all the cake samples set up. Fake Archer and Izzie, you're invited too," she called out to Alex and Addison.

"Aren't you glad we had sex this morning?" Alex whispered to Addison as they walked behind Archer, Izzie, and Florence.

"Wow, Florence, these look amazing," Izzie complimented as they entered the back room, which had an entire table full of different cakes for them to sample.

"Thank you, thank you!" Florence beamed. "Now, go ahead and taste them. I'll be up front if you need anything."

"Great. Thanks," Izzie smiled, as Florence left the room.

"So, she's something else," Alex smirked, once the four of them were alone.

"Okay, yes," Izzie began, "she might be a little-"

"Crazy?" Alex supplied.

"Insane?" Addison volunteered.

"Certifiable?" Archer smirked.

"I was going to go with eccentric," Izzie laughed. "But she's the best baker there is. Trust me; I -"

"Oh wow, this cake is to die for," Archer moaned, as he tried a piece chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. "Seriously, it's like a party in my mouth."

"See, told ya," Izzie said triumphantly.

"Iz, we're not going to find anything better than this," Archer said. "Let's tell Florence that this is the cake we want."

"Archer, you've tried one piece of cake," Izzie scolded her fiancé. "That's not enough to make an informed decision."

Alex walked over to Addison, who was standing in front of a bunch of different cakes, looking pensive. "Is everything alright?" he smirked.

She smiled at him, and looked back at the cakes in front of her. "I can't decide," she explained, gesturing towards the cakes. "Triple berry at least has fruit, so I could pretend it's healthy."

"So, start there," Alex chuckled, rolling his eyes and handing Addison a small piece of triple berry cake.

"I guess I could start there," Addison said thoughtfully. "But, then again, if I'm going to be eating cake, should I really be wasting precious room and calories on berry cake?"

"Oh, just eat the damn cake," Alex smirked, taking the triple berry cake from Addison's hand and putting it into her mouth, smearing the frosting all over her face.

"Did you seriously just do that?" Addison asked Alex in disbelief.

"You were being a pain in the ass," Alex laughed.

"Oh, you're gonna regret that, Karev," Addison grinned, picking up another piece of triple berry cake, and returning the favor.

"This is pretty good cake," Alex said approvingly, as he wiped the cake off of his face with his index finger, and licked the cake off his finger.

"Really?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow, as Alex continued to wipe the frosting off his face. He was about to lick the frosting off his finger, when Addison grabbed his wrist, and moved his hand away from his face.

"Hey," Alex protested.

Addison grinned at him mischievously before taking his finger in her mouth and licking the frosting off it. Alex swallowed hard as Addison continued to lick the frosting off his finger. Was she trying to torture him? Not to mention, they had agreed to be discreet around Archer and Izzie, and this was anything but discreet.

Lucky for him, Archer and Izzie were too engaged in a heated debate over cake to notice Addison's antics.

Unfortunately, Florence had a terrible sense of timing, and chose that moment to reenter the room. "Oh! Oh, wow! Um, okay," she exclaimed at the sight of Addison and Alex.

Archer and Izzie turned to see what the fuss was all about, while Alex and Addison separated from each other, awkwardly.

"So, are you finding cakes that you like?" Florence asked Archer and Izzie, a hint of discomfort still clear in her voice.

"These cakes are all amazing," Izzie complimented. "It's just, Archer and I are having trouble deciding. I like the white cake with the vanilla butter cream frosting and raspberry swirl, and Archer likes the chocolate cake with the chocolate frosting."

"Both excellent choices," Florence grinned.

"Hey, which cake do you guys like best?" Archer asked Alex and Addison. "I mean, you're here to help us, and we're clearly having trouble…so help us."

"Um, I liked the triple berry cake," Addison said as earnestly as she could.

"And it has fruit, so you could pretend it's healthy," Alex added.

"Okay, we're _not_ having a berry wedding cake," Archer insisted. "That's just lame. No offence, Florence."

"Hey, Archer," Izzie cut in, "we need to go listen to the band play in a half hour, and it's going to take us at least twenty minutes to get to the hotel that we're supposed to meet them at, so…" she trailed off.

"Well, we already hired the band," Archer reasoned. "And we need to chose a cake, so why don't we just send Addie and Alex to listen to the band, while we continue to taste cakes, 'cause, let's face it, they're pretty horrible cake tasters."

Izzie turned to Alex and Addison. "Would you guys mind going to listen to the band? It would be a huge favor to us."

"Yeah, um, I guess it's okay," Addison started. "But, if you already hired them, why do you need to hear them play again?"

"We need to make sure they can play our song," Izzie explained.

Addison nodded in understanding. "What's your song?"

"We don't have one," Archer said. "We were just going to ask them to play a bunch of wedding songs, and chose the one we liked best. So just ask them to play some songs, and let us know which one you guys like."

"So, wait," Addison clarified. "You want Alex and me to choose your song? Your first dance song?"

"Geez, Addie, it's not like we're asking you to write our vows for us," Archer said, rolling his eyes.

"And we have veto power," Izzie added.

"Well, if you guys are okay with it, I guess I'm okay with it," Addison said. "Are you okay with this, Alex?"

"It's a little weird," Alex admitted "but I guess I'm okay with it."

"Good," Archer smiled, handing Addison the address to the hotel and his car keys. "We'll see you two later."

"Right," Alex said, as he and Addison began to leave the bakery. "Have fun choosing a cake."

"It was nice to meet you, Florence," Addison smiled politely.

"Likewise," Florence replied. "Oh, Fake Archer," Florence called out to Alex's retreating form.

Alex turned to face her. "Yes?"

Florence motioned for him to come to her, and Alex walked toward her. "Here's my card, you know, for when you and Fake Izzie decide to get married. I'll make you the best triple berry cake you've ever tasted."

"Um, thanks, but we're not together," Alex told her.

"Just take the card," Florence insisted.


	5. When You Say Nothing At All

A/N: I hope you're liking the story so far. Here's the next chapter – When You Say Nothing At All. I hope you like it, and please review! I love hearing what you think! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 5: When You Say Nothing At All**

"So, what was the final verdict on the cake?" Addison asked, taking a sip of her vanilla latte. After listening to the band, Addison and Alex picked up Archer and Izzie from the bakery, and the four of them decided to discuss the events of the morning over coffee at a nearby coffee shop.

Archer took a sip of his chocolate mocha and smiled at Izzie. "We decided to go with the white cake with vanilla butter cream frosting and raspberry swirl."

Addison chuckled. "Wow, Izzie, Archer must really like you if he gave in to you so easily because he's kind of a 'my way or the highway' type of guy."

Izzie smiled and squeezed Archer's hand affectionately. "I wouldn't exactly say he gave in easily. So, what did you two think of the band?" she asked Addison and Alex.

"They were good," Alex said approvingly.

"And our song?" Archer asked.

"Archer, you realize you gave us an impossible task," Addison complained.

Archer rolled his eyes. "So did you choose us a song or what?"

"Honestly, you guys chose an amazing band," Alex complimented. "Everything they played sounded good."

"It's true," Addison agreed. "I mean, I loved everything they played – from 'Can't Help Falling in Love' to 'Faithfully' – you can't go wrong with this band."

"I like 'Faithfully,'" Archer approved. "That might be a good choice."

"And Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards danced to that song at their wedding," Addison added. "Although, their marriage isn't exactly something to aspire to…but it's still a good song."

"I really like 'Can't Help Falling in Love,'" Izzie smiled.

Archer looked at his fiancé adoringly. "You would," he teased. "You're such a romantic."

"I don't see anything wrong with that," Izzie pouted.

"Oh, crap," Archer cut in, "we're going to be late for our appointment with the florist."

"We're meeting with your florist today?" Alex asked. "You never mentioned anything about flower shopping."

"It must have slipped our minds," Izzie apologized. "Anyway, the florist we like is really close to your house, Addison," Izzie said, handing Addison a business card with the florist's address on it. "Do you know where this is?"

Addison paled and tightened her grip on her coffee cup. "This, uh, this is the florist you're using?" she asked shakily.

Archer nodded. "Yeah. Why? Is something wrong?"

"Oh, um no," Addison answered. "I, uh, I know where it is." Then, quietly, almost inaudibly, she added, "I've been there before."

Archer grinned. "Excellent. Let's go then."

Alex watched Addison curiously from the passenger's seat, as she drove everyone to the flower shop. For the life of him, he could not figure out what was bothering her. He had seen her sad before – hell, he had seen her heartbroken. He'd seen her stressed and he'd seen her hurt. But this was something different. She seemed defeated – maybe even broken.

"I think I'll wait in the car while you choose flowers," Addison said, as they pulled up to the flower shop.

"But Addison, you have to come," Archer insisted. "You're so good at this kind of stuff."

"It's okay, Archer," Izzie said. "Why don't we check out the flowers first and, if we need Addison's help, we can ask her for it."

Addison shot Izzie a grateful look. "I think that's a good idea," she agreed.

"What's with her?" Archer whispered as he, Izzie, and Alex walked towards the flower shop.

"I don't know," Izzie answered. "But, um, Archer, why don't you go inside, and get started; I just need to talk to Alex for a second."

"You better not make me go flower shopping alone," Archer smirked as he entered the shop.

"You should go check on Addison," Izzie told Alex, once they were alone.

"What?"

"Come on, you know something's wrong, so go find out what it is."

"Why don't you find out what's wrong?" Alex challenged.

"Because I'm not leaving you and Archer in charge of choosing my wedding flowers," Izzie shot back. "And you know Addison better than I do. Just go check on her. We both know you want to."

Alex sighed, "Fine…but only because I'm a good maid of honor. That's the only reason I'm doing it."

"Okay," Izzie nodded. "You just keep telling yourself that," she smirked to herself, as she walked into the flower shop.

xxxxx

"Hey," Alex called out, tapping on the driver's side window. "Get out of the car."

Addison opened the door slightly. "I'm not going into the flower shop."

"I wasn't gonna ask you to," Alex said gently. "I was just going to ask you to switch sides with me, so I could drive."

"Where are we going?" Addison asked skeptically.

"I don't know. I thought we could just go for a drive."

Addison looked at him warily. "Okay," she said hesitantly, handing Alex the keys.

"So," Addison said, after a couple of minutes of silence, "aren't you going to ask me why I'm being so weird about the flower shop?"

Alex shrugged. "I figure if you want to talk to me about it, you will. That's how it is with us."

Addison nodded, acknowledging the truth in his statement. They never pried into each other's lives. They never demanded information from each other. They told each other things on their own terms – veiled terms, often times – but still, on their own terms.

After a few more minutes of driving in silence, Addison turned and looked at Alex, "My mother was a lesbian," she mumbled.

Alex nodded slightly. "Okay," he trailed off.

"She came out here a few months ago, after she left my father, to marry her lover, Susan. I, uh, I planned their wedding. The flower shop that Izzie and Archer are in, right now…that's where I picked out the flowers for my mother's wedding. Susan liked understated elegance, so I chose understated, elegant flowers...lilies and hyacinths." Addison sighed and looked at Alex. "More?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"The wedding was beautiful. I never saw my mother so happy. But Susan was sick…really sick…and she, she collapsed at the wedding, and we had to rush her to the hospital, but, uh, there was nothing we could do to save her."

Alex took one of his hands off the steering wheel and took Addison's hand in his own. "I'm sorry," he said gently.

Addison sighed, "My mother was heartbroken, of course, and she…she ended up killing herself. I found her body."

"Addison," Alex whispered, rubbing her hand sympathetically, "I'm really sorry."

"Thanks. It's, um, it's…Alex, what are you doing?" Addison asked, as Alex let go of her hand, pulled the car over onto the side of the road, and put it in park.

"Hugging you," he answered, unfastening his seatbelt and wrapping his arms around her.

Addison lingered in Alex's arms for a few minutes. "You know," she said, pulling away from him slightly, "I've come to terms with the fact that my mother was a lesbian, and that it was her, and not my father, that put the strain on my parent's marriage. And I've even come to terms with the fact that my mother killed herself. But, Alex, walking into my mother's hotel room and finding her body…I haven't gotten over that. I don't think that's something a person can just get over."

Alex looked down. He didn't know who had reached for whose hand, but his and Addison's hands were intertwined. He gently rubbed her thigh with his free hand, waiting for her to continue.

"You know what it's like the first time you walk into a patient's room and find her dead? Do you remember how that felt?" Addison asked.

"Of course."

"Finding my mother's body was nothing like that," Addison choked out. "The shock…and the pain, it was like nothing I've ever felt before. It took a toll on my body and, emotionally, I…I still don't think I've recovered. And, I don't know, the flower shop…it was just all too real of a reminder of it," Addison finished, fighting back tears, as Alex wrapped his arms around her again. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what? I didn't say anything."

"You listened to me. You didn't force me to explain myself to you, or feel as though I owed you an explanation for the way that I was acting. You didn't try to solve my problems. You let me come to you and share things with you on my own terms. Do you realize that this is the first time I've ever told anyone about what it felt like to find my mother's body? And it's not like I don't have friends or people who care about me out here; it's just, I never felt comfortable talking about this with anyone."

"Really?" Alex asked. "Why'd you tell me?"

Addison smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek. "Because there were a million different things you could have asked me before I told you about my mother, and there were a million different things you could have said to me afterwards, but, Alex, you said it best when you said nothing at all."

Alex shrugged and gave her a warm smile, "Sometimes talking's overrated."

Addison nodded and reached for his hand, "Sometimes it is."


	6. Then

A/N: I hope you're still enjoying the story. Here' the next chapter – Then – it's a long one! :) I hope you like it! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated! :)

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><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 6: Then**

"Alex," Meredith smiled, as Alex walked into the living room of her house. "Welcome back. How was LA?"

"It was okay."

"Ice cream?" Cristina offered from the couch. "We got you Ben & Jerry's Half Baked. We figured you'd need it."

"Thanks, but maybe later," Alex responded.

"Well, at least sit down and tell us about your trip," Meredith pressed.

"What do you want to know?" Alex asked.

"What was it like seeing Izzie with another man? Did it hurt? Did it hurt your heart?" Cristina asked.

"I thought I told you to tread lightly," Meredith warned her friend.

Cristina shrugged. "So was it weird?"

"I guess it was a little weird," Alex admitted. "But Archer's a good guy. I like him, and I think he's good for Izzie. I'm going upstairs now."

"Not so fast, Alex," Meredith laughed. "So what did you guys do this weekend?

Alex sighed, "I don't know – just typical wedding stuff. You know, we went cake tasting, and we listened to the band that's gonna play at the wedding. That type of stuff." Oh, and I had hot, mind-blowing sex – lots of hot, mind-blowing sex – with Addison Montgomery, he added in his head.

"Better you than me," Cristina smirked. "I hate that crap."

"Me too," Meredith agreed.

"Yeah, wedding stuff isn't really my thing either," Alex confessed. "But I found a way to get through it."

"Well, that's good," Meredith smiled. "You know, you look good, Alex. I don't know what it is, but something's different about you. LA must agree with you or something."

Alex shrugged.

"I'm serious," Meredith pressed. "Don't you think there's something different about him, Cristina?"

"I don't know. But I thought he was going to be all distraught or upset about Izzie and Archer," Cristina complained. "That's what I came over here for; not to hear about his wedding-filled weekend. What a letdown," she grumbled, digging her spoon into the ice cream.

"Sorry to disappoint," Alex smirked.

"So how'd things go with Addison," Meredith asked.

"What? What do- what do y-you mean by that?" Alex stammered uncomfortably. How the hell did Meredith know about him and Addison?

Meredith looked at him quizzically. "You're Izzie's maid of honor; Addison's Archer's best man. You were in California this weekend, so I figured you guys probably saw a fair bit of each other."

"Right," Alex recovered. "We did. She's doing fine."

"Okay, what are you plotting?" Cristina asked suspiciously. "You're not planning on wrecking Izzie's wedding, are you? I have no loyalty to the Montgomery's; I'll help you ruin it."

"What?" Alex exclaimed. "I'm not planning on ruining the wedding. I'm the maid of honor; I can't do that. Besides, I like Archer. You'll like him too. He's a little arrogant and demanding, but you'll like him. And he makes Izzie happy. So are we finished talking about California?"

Meredith sighed. "Yeah, we're finished."

xxxxx

Alex looked at his cell phone questioningly as Addison's number flashed on it. They had exchanged phone numbers just in case they needed to contact each other about wedding details, but he honestly hadn't expected her to call him. And especially not so soon – he had only left LA a couple of days ago. "Hey, Addison; what's up?" he asked into his phone.

"Are you planning on sleeping with anyone else?"

"Well that's a little forward, don't you think?" Alex smirked.

"Shut up," Addison retorted. "I realized that we never discussed how we were going to handle our sex arrangement when we're not together. I mean, I know that the whole wedding party is coming out to LA in a month and a half to go dress and tux shopping, and I know that everyone's coming out here again a week before the wedding, and, obviously, we're going to sleep together then. But I was just wondering what we were going to do when we're not together."

"Missing me bad, huh?" Alex teased, lowering his voice seductively.

"Could you be more arrogant?" Addison shot back – and spot on, she thought to herself. Then more nonchalantly, she added, "I was just wondering what you were planning on doing until you see me again. I'm assuming you're not going to be celibate for the next month and half."

"Well, I'd prefer not to be," Alex admitted.

"I figured as much. So, what are we going to do?"

"I, um, I hadn't really thought about it," Alex admitted. "I haven't slept with anyone since I left LA," he offered.

"Well, it's only been two days," Addison chuckled, "but, um, good for you, I guess."

"So how do you want to deal with this?" Alex asked.

"I don't know," Addison admitted. "I'm not very good at arrangements that revolve around _not_ having sex. And since having sex is our way of getting through this impossible wedding, I don't think that either of us can be in a committed relationship for the next three months, you know, because we agreed to have sex with each other up until the wedding, and it wouldn't be fair if one of us backed out.

"So casual sex with other people?" Alex asked.

"I don't do casual sex," Addison sighed. "You're my casual sex, remember?" Well, maybe she didn't exactly see it that way…but Alex didn't need to know that.

"So no sex?"

"What are you doing next weekend?" Addison asked.

"Way to dodge the question."

"Oh quiet. I asked because, I have a three day weekend. I could spend it in Seattle. Or should I say, we could spend it in my hotel room."

Alex cheered silently in his head. He wasn't planning on having sex with anyone else during his and Addison's sex agreement – it's not like they were together or anything, but, for some reason, he felt like he'd be cheating on her if had sex with someone else. And he liked the idea of seeing Addison more frequently. "I think that's a good idea," Alex grinned. "And then maybe I could come out to LA a couple days early when everyone comes out next month. And I could come out a little early before the wedding too."

"That sounds good," Addison approved. "So, up until the wedding, we'll only have sex with each other, and we'll try to fit in as many rendezvous as we can between now and then. Does that work for you?"

"It does," Alex grinned.

"Perfect," Addison smiled. "This way I won't be completely sex starved and you won't be sexless in Seattle."

xxxxx

"Hey, Alex," Meredith smiled, as she joined her friend in the locker room.

"Oh, hey, Mer," Alex said, turning his attention away from his phone and meeting her eyes. "What's up?"

"You know, since you got back from LA, you've been on your phone an awful lot. In fact, I think I've seen you on your phone more in the last month than I have in all the time I've known you."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I think you're exaggerating a little, don't you, Mer?"

"Don't be mad," Meredith began hesitantly, "but I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you weren't doing anything creepy or illegal, so I checked your phone. You and Addison call each other a lot."

He couldn't argue with her there. After Addison's phone call to amend the details of their sex agreement, they somehow fell into the habit of calling each other almost every day.

Alex sighed, "Meredith, we're planning a wedding together; of course, we talk." We don't necessarily talk about wedding-related things, Alex thought to himself, but Meredith didn't need to know that.

Meredith shrugged, obviously unconvinced. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you two were planning your own wedding. I mean, Alex, you guys call each other almost every day – sometimes twice a day."

"Yeah, so? What's your point?" Alex asked, not liking the direction that the conversation was heading.

"Do you think that maybe there might be something going on between you and Addison?"

"That," Alex began with a forced laugh, "is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Seriously, Mer, I don't know where you even come up with these crazy ideas. There's nothing going on between me and Addison. You remember what Izzie was like when she was planning your wedding, right? Take that and multiply it my a thousand. And Archer, he's even worse than she is. Plus, I'm heading out to LA tomorrow, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen are heading out there a few days after that, so Addison and I have been working out all the details."

"Okay, I'll leave it alone," Meredith said.

"Thank you."

"But, Alex."

"Yes, Meredith?"

"If you want to talk…about anything, you can come to me, okay?"

"Thanks," Alex smiled. "Look, Mer, I've gotta go. Torres is paging me."

xxxxx

"Dr. Torres, you paged me?" Alex greeted Callie.

"I was hoping you would assist me on a consult," Callie explained. "Arizona has the day off today, and I've got a little boy with what looks like a dislocated shoulder and some pretty severe bruising."

"What happened?"

"His parents said he fell down some stairs," Callie supplied.

Alex felt his throat tighten. "Let me guess, he's a clumsy kid, right?"

"Karev, we don't know anything yet. So let's not stress out until we know if there's something to stress out about, okay?"

Alex nodded slightly, as he consulted their patient's chart and followed Callie into their patient's room.

"Hi, Ethan," Callie greeted her patient. She turned her attention to Ethan's parents. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Martin. I'm Dr. Torres and this is Dr. Karev."

Alex felt his entire body stiffen, as he took in the eight-year-old boy's injuries. Even from far away, he could tell that the bruises on his arms and face were deep. He glared angrily at Ethan's parents.

"Hey, Ethan," Alex smiled, as he walked closer to his patient. "You have some pretty deep bruises there; wanna tell me how this happened."

Alex cringed as he watched Ethan look over at his parents. "I, uh, I fell down the stairs."

"We should have been watching him more closely," Mrs. Martin added. "We feel just awful about this, Dr. Karev."

"Well, Ethan, it looks like you have a dislocated shoulder," Callie told the young boy. "But I can snap that back into place for you."

Ethan looked at her fearfully. "Is it gonna hurt?"

Callie smiled apologetically. "A little, but how about you talk to Dr. Karev, so you're not thinking about it, okay?"

"Okay," Ethan nodded.

"So, Ethan," Alex began, "do you like sports?"

"Yeah."

"Really? What's your favorite sport?"

"Football."

"I like football too," Alex smiled. "Do you like the Seahawks?"

"Hey, they're my favorite team," Ethan grinned.

"Mine too."

"Really?" Ethan asked with wide eyes. "Who's your favorite player?"

"Hmm…I guess I like Leon Washington," Alex responded, as he watched Ethan wince in pain.

"There you go," Callie smiled. "Good as new."

"Nice job, Ethan. You were very brave," Alex complimented his patient, patting the young boy on the back. Ethan cringed in pain from the contact.

Alex exchanged a worried glance with Callie. "You okay, Ethan?" Alex asked. "Do you have some bruises on your back?"

Ethan looked at his parents. "No," he said quietly.

"How about we just check you over, just to be safe," Callie suggested. "Your bruises on your arms and face look pretty deep; I'd like to make sure there's no severe internal bleeding."

"He's such a klutzy little boy," Mrs. Martin said with a nervous laugh. "He's always running into things or falling down. And he bruises like a peach."

"I'm sure," Alex muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Um, Dr. Karev, why don't you get Dr. Stark?" Callie cut in.

Alex glared at her. "Do you really want me to get Stark, or are you kicking me out?" he asked under his breath.

"Karev, go get Stark," Callie ordered, doing her best to keep her composure in front of her patient and his parents.

"Fine," Alex grumbled, shooting an angry glare at Ethan's parents, and leaving the room.

He had barely left the room, when Ethan's mother came up behind him. "Excuse me, Dr. Karev; can I speak to you for a minute?"

Alex stared at her expectantly.

"Listen," Mrs. Martin began, "I see the way that you're looking at us, and I want you to know that we're good parents."

"I have to go find Dr. Stark so he can examine your son's bruises, so if you're done with this," Alex trailed off.

"Look, Jerry doesn't hit Ethan often. It's just, he loses his temper sometimes. He's going to stop. It's under control. I wouldn't let it get out of control. Ethan just needs to learn not to bother his father when he's in one of his moods, and everything will be fine. Please Dr. Karev; things are under control, so, please, keep this secret for us."

"You disgust me," Alex spat.

"I'm sorry? What?"

"Can't you see what a dangerous situation you are putting your son in? How can you possibly say that everything is under control when your son's injuries are so bad that you had to bring him to the hospital? You're husband is an asshole, plain and simple, and if you don't have enough self-respect to leave him for your own sake, you should do it for your son because, trust me, nothing good will come of this. And if you don't do something to stop it, well, you're no better than your husband."

"Dr. Karev-"

"I've gotta go find Dr. Stark," Alex interrupted, brushing past her.

Alex and Stark were making their way back to Ethan's room, when they rounded a corner and bumped right into Mr. Martin.

"Oh, excuse me, Dr. Karev," Mr. Martin apologized. Can you tell me where the restroom is?"

"Go down this hallway and make a left," Alex answered curtly.

"Thanks."

Alex watched the man's retreating figure. "You know, you should have said that Ethan got hurt playing football. It's more believable. Everybody goes with the 'he fell down the stairs' excuse."

"Excuse me?" Mr. Martin asked, turning to face Alex.

"Um, Karev, what's going on?" Stark asked.

Alex glared at Mr. Martin. "I said chose a better cover story next time," he snapped.

"Hey, I don't have to put up with this," Mr. Martin said angrily. "This isn't fair."

"No, you know what's not fair?" Alex asked, taking a step closer to the man. "What's not fair is that your eight-year-old son is getting the crap kicked out of him, and there's nothing he can do about it. That's what's not fair."

"Karev, stop," Stark commanded.

But Alex didn't listen to the attending. He took a couple steps closer to Mr. Martin, so the man was now backed up against the hospital wall. "You make me sick," Alex spat, shoving the man a little.

"Karev," Stark barked.

Alex ignored him, and continued to glare at Jerry Martin. "It's a lot different when you mess with someone who can fight back isn't it? It's-"

But he was cut off by the feel of his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Alex Karev," he answered, not even bothering to see who was calling.

"I want your tongue all over my naked body," Addison whispered seductively on the other end of the line. "I'm really looking forward to tomorrow." When she didn't hear Alex respond, Addison nervously stammered, "Um, Alex, uh, is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Alex assured her, backing away from Mr. Martin, and composing himself. "Yeah, everything's alright. You may have just saved my job."

xxxxx

"So, were you ever planning on telling me how you almost lost your job, yesterday?" Addison asked, as she an Alex laid in bed together.

Alex ran his fingers through her hair. "I've only been here for a couple of hours, and we've been kind of busy doing other things," he smirked. "Besides, it's stupid," he muttered.

"Tell me anyway," Addison whispered, moving closer to Alex and resting her head on his chest.

Alex sighed. "I had this patient yesterday, an eight-year-old boy…he came in with a dislocated shoulder, and lots of bruises, deep bruises."

"How'd it happen?" Addison asked softly.

"His father beats the shit out of him…and his mother, she, she does nothing to stop it. I lose it pretty much every time I get put on a case like this, because of my history and all, but this one-"

"What do you mean, because of your history?" Addison interrupted, meeting Alex's eyes.

"My old man, my dad…he used hit my mom…a lot…and he'd hit me and my siblings too. That's why I started wrestling – so I could hit him back. And the first time I did, he left us."

Addison didn't say anything. She just gently trailed her hand across Alex's muscular chest, and kissed him softly along his jaw line.

"Anyway," Alex continued, "I looked into that kid's eyes, yesterday, and I saw my eight-year-old self, and I thought about how messed up I am, and how a good kid like him doesn't deserve that. So I yelled at the kid's mother, and I probably would have decked his father if you hadn't called and saved my ass."

"Well, I told you that your ass is mine until I say otherwise," Addison said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Right," Alex chuckled. Then growing serious, he added, "The thing is, though, yesterday showed me that I'm no different from my father. I would have hit that guy without a second thought. And that would have made me-"

"Unprofessional," Addison finished. "But nothing like your father."

Alex shrugged, unconvinced.

"Alex, you would never hurt a child. You work in pediatrics. That's the exact opposite of hurting children. You saved a baby with the kangaroo hold, and you helped save another baby with a ping-pong ball."

"How did you know that?" Alex asked in surprise. "That stuff happened after you left."

Addison shrugged, "Bailey and I talk, and I check up on you from time to time. You know, to make sure you're putting that teaching you got during in your intern year to good use, and aren't doing something crazy, like going back to plastics."

Alex was glad that the lights were out, because he was pretty sure that he was blushing. He liked the idea of Addison checking up on him; it was nice to know that she still cared about him – even if it was only in a professional capacity.

"But, seriously," Addison continued, "you are nothing like you're father, Alex. You're going to make an amazing dad one day."

"Oh no," Alex said quickly, "guys like me, we're not father material. I'll never be the type of guy who barbeques and teaches little kids to play catch."

Addison stiffened, recognizing Alex's words as her own from several years ago. "How did you-"

"Ava overheard you talking to Callie," Alex supplied. "And I couldn't be that guy for you…not with my history…so I told you that you weren't my girlfriend. You deserve the barbeque and catch guy, Addison."

Addison felt a lump begin to form in her throat. "Deserve it or not, it's no longer an issue," Addison sighed. "I can't have kids."

"Wait, what?" Alex asked, letting his hand fall to Addison's back and rubbing it gently.

"I can't have kids," Addison repeated. "Or I guess, if you want to be optimistic, I have a very, very low, almost impossible chance of conceiving."

"I'm really sorry," Alex whispered, kissing Addison softly on the temple.

"Thanks," Addison said sadly. "But let's not talk about me because, Alex, you _are_ able to have kids, and you'll be great with them."

"You really think so?" Alex asked skeptically.

"I do."

Alex was looking at her as if she were crazy, so Addison continued. "I could see you with a little boy, who looks just like you – your mini me. And I can see you teaching him how to throw a baseball and how to talk to girls…and he would just worship the ground that you walk on, and he'd want to grow up to be just like you."

"You honestly believe that?" Alex asked.

Addison nodded. "But what I can really see you with is an adorable little girl, who will have you so wrapped around her finger that you won't know what hit you. I can see you letting her dress you up in princess clothes, and I can see you having tea parties with her. And even though your friends would tease you mercilessly about how your daughter turned you into a softy, you'd love every second of it. And you'd freak out the first time you caught her wearing make-up, and you'd hate every boy she ever talked to because you'd worry that they were all going to break her heart. And the first time she actually did get her heart broken, I know that you'd be there to pick up the pieces, because you're a decent guy, Alex, and even though you act tough, when you're little girl needs you, I know you'd be there for her…just like you're there for all of the women in your life."

Alex smiled at the picture Addison had painted, but he couldn't help wondering why, when he pictured his daughter in his mind, he imagined her having bright red hair.

"Got any names picked out for me?" Alex asked.

"I like Carson," Addison said quietly. "It works for a boy or a girl."

"Carson," Alex repeated, testing out the name. "I don't know. I'm not sure it goes great with Karev."

"You might be right," Addison agreed. "We might have to take Carson off the table." Wait, _we_? Addison thought to herself. You can't start thinking like this, she scolded herself.

Alex shook his head and chuckled. "I can't believe you see all this for me."

Addison kissed him softly on the lips, met his eyes, and smiled, "I can't believe you don't."


	7. Lady in Red

A/N: I hope you're still liking this story. Here's the next chapter – Lady in Red. I hope you like it! :)

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><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 7: Lady in Red**

"You look nice," Alex complimented, appreciatively taking in Addison's appearance as she entered the living room wearing a short, sleeveless red dress with a skinny black leather belt.

"Thanks," Addison smiled. "Archer and his groomsmen are going out tonight and, since I'm his best man, apparently I have to go too."

Alex chuckled. "Where are you guys going?"

"I don't know," Addison answered. "The only thing I know is that Izzie told Archer no strippers. But Derek, Mark, and Sam did all the planning."

"Well, it should be a-"

"Whatever you do, don't say 'fun night,'" Addison interrupted. "I'm spending the night with my brother, my ex-husband, and two ex-boyfriends. This is going to be a disaster. How am I supposed to get through this?"

"Hey, you know what I've always liked about you?" Alex asked, pulling Addison onto the couch that he was sitting on.

"Way to avoid the question," Addison retorted.

Alex rolled his eyes at her. "Humor me."

Addison turned to face him. "What have you always liked about me, Alex?"

"You're tough," Alex said simply. "I've seen you in situations that would break most people…but not you. You're a fighter, and you always come through whatever tough situation is thrown at you. I think it's because you don't put up with other people's bullshit. I mean, you called Shepherd out on his crap, you called Sloan out on his…we all know you called me out on my crap– a lot. I'm not worried about you tonight."

Addison swallowed hard, and met Alex's eyes. He gave her a soft smile, his eyes warm and caring. Addison's eyes flickered from Alex's eyes to his lips and back to his eyes. She hesitated for a moment before leaning in and kissing him gently. Alex eagerly responded, and what started out as a soft, tender kiss quickly became more passionate and intense.

"Thank you," Addison whispered when they finally broke apart.

"For what?" Alex asked, desire still clouding his eyes.

"For what you said; I needed to hear it."

Alex shrugged. "I meant it," he said quietly.

"Wait up for me?" Addison asked hopefully.

Alex grinned widely. "Hey, while you're off with Archer and the unholy trinity, I'll be having a girls' evening with Izzie and the bridesmaids. If you think for one second that we're not having sex tonight, you've got another thing coming."

xxxxx

"So, we put together the ultimate man's night," Mark grinned, as he, Archer, Derek, Sam, and Addison walked into the steakhouse. "We'll start with steak and scotch here, and then we're heading over to a sports bar."

"Sounds good," Archer grinned, as they sat down at their private table.

"Yeah," Mark agreed. "It's too bad that Izzie was so against having strippers."

"Mark," Derek scolded.

"Oh, don't be such a prude, Derek," Mark grinned. "I got you strippers before you married Addison."

"And if I remember correctly, you spared no expense," Sam laughed.

"They were hot," Archer agreed.

I could be having sex right now, Addison thought to herself. "So," she began, trying to redirect the conversation, "where are the menus?"

"No menus," Mark laughed. "I preordered everything. Thirty-two ounce steaks for each of us!"

"Thirty-two ounces?" Addison exclaimed. "Mark, that's two pounds of steak!"

"I know," Mark grinned. "If you wanna be a good best man, you gotta keep up with the big boys. That means eating like us…so no eight ounce filet mignon for you."

"Excuse me," their waiter cut in, "but dinner is served." And, with that, he placed a thirty-two ounce steak in front of each of them.

"Awesome," Archer grinned.

"This is pretty cool," Sam agreed.

"I can't remember the last time I saw this much meat," Addison said incredulously.

"Sure you can," Mark smirked, "You slept with me when I flew out to LA, so that was what, about a year an a half ago-"

"Some of us are trying to enjoy our dinner, Mark," Derek cut in angrily.

"I second that," Archer agreed.

xxxxx

"Alex, I'm glad you made it," Izzie smiled as Alex joined his friends at their table in the hotel restaurant.

"Hey, I'm your maid of honor," Alex grinned. "Girly dinners are kind of in my job description. And, truth be told, I'd much rather spend the night with you guys than with Archer and the groomsmen."

"Poor Addison," Izzie chuckled.

"Eh, she's tough; she'll get through it," Alex smiled. "So," he began, completely oblivious to the suspicious looks that his friends were exchanging with each other, "what are we ordering?"

"We were thinking about ordering a couple bottles of champagne and all the desserts on the menu," Meredith giggled.

"Sure," Alex smirked. "There's nothing like drinking on an empty stomach."

"Hey, we're ordering all the desserts on the menu," Cristina protested. "Dessert counts as food."

"Hey, I like dessert," Alex defended, putting his hands up in surrender. "I'm all for it."

"Perfect," Izzie smiled, calling the waiter over, and placing their order.

"So what do you think the guys are up to tonight?" Callie asked, once the waiter left their table.

"I don't know," Izzie answered. "All I know is that there aren't going to be any strippers. At least, there better not be."

"Hey, we should call them and find out, you know, just to make sure they didn't get strippers," Meredith suggested.

"I like that idea," Izzie approved.

"Want me to call Derek?" Meredith offered.

"We should try to be discreet about this," Izzie started. "You know, so I don't come off as all hovery and jealous. Calling Derek would be too obvious. We should call Addison."

"So call her," Cristina prodded.

"I can't call her," Izzie said exasperatedly. "It's got to be one of you guys."

"Well, it's not like Meredith or I have her number," Cristina shot back. "So that leaves Callie or Alex."

"Oh, Alex should do it," Izzie said decisively. "That way we can pretend it's a maid of honor, best man kind of thing." Izzie looked at Alex. "You have Addison's number, right?"

"Oh, he has Addison's number," Meredith said assuredly.

Alex glared at his friend.

"Or, I would assume that he does, at least," Meredith recovered. "I mean, he's the maid of honor, she's the best man; it would be silly if they didn't exchange numbers, right?"

"I have Addison's number," Alex said, desperate to put an end to Meredith's rambling. "You sure we should call her?"

"Yes!" the four women exclaimed.

"Okay," Alex nodded, as he dialed Addison's number.

"Hey, Alex; what's up?" Addison answered into the phone.

"So this is kind of awkward," Alex began. "I'm with Izzie, Meredith, Callie, and Yang, and, um, Izzie…I mean, we, _we_ were wondering, if-"

"Mark, Derek, and Sam got Archer strippers?" Addison finished for him.

"Yeah," Alex admitted.

"Hey, Addison," Alex heard Mark yell through the phone. "Tell Alex to tell the girls that we didn't get strippers."

"You heard that, right?" Addison asked Alex.

"I did," Alex laughed. Then, turning his attention Izzie, he mouthed, "No strippers."

"Hey, Addie," Alex heard Archer yell. "Tell Alex to tell Izzie that I forgive her for not trusting me, but that she's gonna need to make it up to me later tonight. I'm thinking something black and lacy for starters."

"Please tell me you heard that too," Addison muttered to Alex.

"I heard it," Alex laughed, "but I bet you wish you hadn't."

"Yeah," Addison agreed. "So how's your night going?"

"Good," Alex smiled. "We're having champagne and dessert. How's your night going?"

"Okay," Addison said. "We're having scotch and thirty-two ounce steaks."

"Sweet."

Addison laughed. "I figured you'd think so."

"How's the company?" Alex asked, doing his best to be discreet.

"Okay," Addison answered. "We've hit all the big topics – strippers, sex, women, man whoring…oh, and med. school."

"Hey, Addison," Archer said loudly, "the point of tonight was to hang out with the groomsmen, not with the maid of honor. Tell Alex to tell Izzie that I love her, and get off the phone."

"Well, I should probably let you go," Alex laughed. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah; bye, Alex" Addison said, hanging up the phone.

"You'll see her tonight?" Callie asked as Alex put the phone away. "Why are you seeing Addison tonight?"

"He's staying at her place," Izzie answered.

"Why?" Cristina asked.

"Because he's the maid of honor and she's the best man, and they have a lot of planning to do," Izzie explained.

Alex couldn't help chuckling to himself as Izzie defended him. She had fallen for his and Addison's lies hook, line, and sinker. He didn't remember his ex-wife being so gullible, but he certainly wasn't complaining.

"So, what are the guys up to…besides not having strippers?" Meredith asked as she began to pour the champagne that had just arrived at their table.

Alex shrugged, "Addison said that they're having scotch and steak. Sounds pretty cool to me."

"And Addie's surviving?" Callie asked.

"She's surviving," Alex assured her.

"You and Addison are really cute," Meredith laughed.

"What-what does that mean?" Alex stammered. "You, you've never even seen us together. What are you talking about?"

Meredith looked at Alex suspiciously. "I just meant you're doing girly stuff with us; she's hanging out with Archer and her exes. You two are good sports."

"Oh," Alex breathed.

"What were you getting all flustered and bent out of shape about?" Cristina asked Alex with a smirk.

"Nothing," Alex responded quickly. "It's just, um…hey, did I tell you what Archer said?"

"No," Izzie smiled. "What did he say?"

"Well, he said that he loves you and that he forgives you for the wholes stripper thing; but he expects you to make it up to him tonight in the form of something black and lacy."

"He said that knowing full well that you and Addison were going to hear him?" Callie asked in astonishment.

"We were the messengers," Alex laughed, as he took in Callie, Meredith, and Cristina's shocked faces.

Izzie laughed. "Archer has no shame."

"That's putting it mildly," Alex smirked, feeling pleased with himself for redirecting the conversation and avoiding what could have been a very awkward situation.

"Very smooth," Meredith whispered to Alex.

Alex turned to look at his friend. "What?"

"Way to change the subject," Meredith said, rolling her eyes.

Alex took a long sip of his champagne, looked over at Meredith, and smiled smugly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

xxxxx

"I don't see why I have to go shopping for bridesmaid dresses," Alex complained, as he stood with Izzie, Addison, Meredith, Cristina, and Callie in the bridal boutique, the next morning. "I mean, it's not like I'm going to be wearing one."

Izzie chuckled, "You're my maid of honor, Alex. You _have _to go bridesmaid dress shopping with me."

"Oh, just so you know, Barbie," Cristina cut in, "I won't wear pastels. I'm morally opposed to anything pastel-colored."

"And I won't wear bows or ruffles," Callie added.

"Oh, me neither," Cristina agreed. "No bows and ruffles."

"So, is everyone finished complaining?" Izzie asked. "Or are you guys just getting started?"

"We're done," Meredith said firmly, shooting her friends warning looks.

"We are," Cristina agreed. "So, let's see the dresses."

"Not so fast," Izzie grinned. "I'm going to take you, Meredith, and Callie upstairs to meet Alice, who's going to take your measurements."

"Wait, Addie, you're not coming with us?" Callie asked her friend. "You're not going to wear a tux, are you? I mean, you don't really wear pants, so you in a tux…that would just be weird."

"I'm not wearing a tux," Addison assured her friend. "I came here with Izzie last week to check out bridesmaid dress options, so I already had my measurements taken." Addison turned her attention to Izzie. "So I guess Alex and I can just wait down here until everyone's ready to start trying on dresses?"

"Actually," Izzie began, "why don't you try on some of the dresses we talked about and see what Alex thinks? That way we can start ruling things out."

"Um, okay. I guess that's alright," Addison agreed.

"Alex?" Izzie asked, looking at her ex-husband questioningly.

"As long as I'm not the one trying on dresses, I'm up for anything," he sighed.

xxxxx

"Okay, what do you think of this one?" Addison asked, stepping out of the dressing room in an elegant floor-length, sleeveless red dress, with a deep draping neckline.

"Wow," Alex breathed, quickly getting up out of his seat to get a better look at her. "You look…amazing."

"Thanks," Addison smiled, meeting Alex's eyes, getting lost in one of their infamous staring contests.

"So, um, how many other dresses is Izzie thinking about?" Alex asked, finally breaking eye contact. "Because, I honestly don't think you're going to find a better dress than that one."

"We looked at a lot of different dresses, but this dress and one other are the front runners," Addison explained, disappearing into the dressing room. She returned a few seconds later with a strapless rose-colored dress on a hanger. "Here's the other choice."

Alex looked at the dress, and his face fell. "Do me a favor, Addison, and convince Izzie to go with the red one."

"Why? So you don't have to wear a pink boutonnière?" Addison teased.

Alex shook his head. "I couldn't care less about that. It's just, the pink one in your hand…it reminds me a lot of the dress that Izzie wore to prom…the night that Denny died. And this is Izzie and Archer's day; it should be about them."

Addison gently placed her hand on Alex's bicep, feeling an overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss him. But kissing Alex in a public place would definitely violate their casual sex agreement and, truth be told, they were already toeing the line. So she buried her feelings, squeezed his arm, and gave him a warm smile. "I'll convince Izzie to go with the red one," she promised.

"Good," Alex smiled. "Besides, you look hot in the red dress. I can't wait to take that dress off-"

But he cut himself off, and swallowed hard, remembering that their sex arrangement ended the morning of the wedding…so he wouldn't be the one taking that dress off Addison at the end of the night.


	8. Just The Way You Are

A/N: Here's the next chapter – Just The Way You Are. I hope you like it! Thanks for reading! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 8: Just The Way You Are**

"Why are people still here?" Addison whispered to Alex. She had agreed to hold Archer and Izzie's rehearsal dinner at her house, the night before the wedding, and the party was showing no signs of dying.

"I know," Alex complained. "It's like they know it's our last night together and are sabotaging us on purpose."

"Okay, here's what we'll do," Addison resolved. "You get your friends to leave, and I'll get my friends to leave."

"Okay," Alex agreed, as he set off to talk to Meredith and Cristina.

Addison watched his retreating form sadly. She wasn't ready for their sex arrangement to end.

"Hey, Addison?" Archer said, placing a hand on her shoulder, and cutting into her thoughts. "What do you think of Derek and Callie?"

"Um, they're nice people, if that's what you mean. Callie's one of my closest friends and Derek, well, he's my ex-husband, so he'll always be important to me, you know-"

"Yeah, that's a nice speech, Addie," Archer interrupted. "But what do you think about them as a couple? They look good together, right?"

"I've never thought about them as a couple," Addison admitted. "Why?"

"I think it might look better if Derek and Callie walk down the aisle together and Mark and Meredith walk down the aisle together, instead of having Derek with Meredith and Mark with Callie," Archer explained.

"Archer, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Addison laughed. "What's bringing this on?"

"I don't know," Archer admitted. "I just want everything to be perfect tomorrow. So do you think I should make the change?"

"No," Addison chuckled. "Derek and Meredith look good together, and so do Callie and Mark. Keep it that way. You're just nervous, Archie. It's just cold feet, and it's perfectly normal."

"You sure?"

"Definitely," Addison smiled. "Look, I know you and Izzie haven't been together for a long time, but you guys are great together, and you really do love her. I can tell."

Archer looked across the room at Izzie and smiled. "I do love her," he agreed. "That's all that matters, right?"

"Right," Addison smiled. "Now stop wasting your time talking to me, go over to Izzie, take her back to the hotel, and enjoy your last unmarried night together."

"Okay," Archer agreed. "Thanks Addie."

"No problem," Addison smiled, as she watched Archer walk over to Izzie, before letting her attention drift back over to Alex, who was talking to Meredith and Cristina.

"He's hot," Charlotte smirked, as she walked up alongside Addison.

"Charlotte," Addison said in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"Please," Charlotte grinned. "I've seen the way you've been lookin' at Izzie's maid of honor all night. Why don't you just bring him up to your bedroom and sleep with him. I mean, you've both already undressed each other with your eyes enough tonight."

"Charlotte, I have no idea what you're talk-"

"Cut the crap, Montgomery," Charlotte interrupted. "Just take him up to your bedroom already. It's a great party; no one will even realize you're gone."

Addison rolled her eyes at her friend. "I'm not leaving a party that I'm throwing to have sex, Charlotte; I don't do that."

"So have sex in the bathroom," Charlotte offered. "That way you don't have to leave the party. And your bathroom has plenty of space, by the way."

Addison looked at Charlotte in confusion.

"Coop and I had sex in there about a half hour ago," Charlotte supplied. "There's tons of room, trust me."

"I could have lived without that information," Addison muttered.

Charlotte shrugged. "This party isn't endin' anytime soon, and it looks like you two want each other pretty bad, so I'm just sayin'…" Charlotte trailed off.

"I'll think about it," Addison said smugly.

"You're welcome," Charlotte smirked as Addison walked away.

"Hey, Alex," Addison smiled, as she walked over to where he, Meredith, and Cristina were standing. "There's still a couple of details that we need to sort out before the wedding tomorrow. Do you have a minute to go over them?"

"Sure," Alex said. "See you later," he waved to Meredith and Cristina. "So, what kind of detail to we need to discuss?" he asked once he and Addison were alone.

Addison grinned. "The fact that this party isn't ending anytime soon, and I want you now. How would you feel about sex in say, I don't know, the bathroom?"

"You're amazing, you realize that, right?" Alex complimented, as they made their way to the bathroom.

Addison smiled at the compliment. "Okay," she instructed, as she turned the doorknob, "we have to be discree – Oh my God!" she interrupted herself at the sight of a very naked Archer pressing a very naked Izzie up against a wall.

Izzie met Addison and Alex's horror-stricken eyes. "Shit!" she exclaimed, as Addison quickly closed the door.

"Oh my goodness," Addison breathed, massaging her temples with her fingers. "That was, um…well, I don't even know what that was."

"That was a lot more Archer than I'd ever care to see," Alex offered.

Addison nodded. "Yeah, you and me both. I guess it's good to know that Archer's impending marriage isn't cramping his style."

Alex laughed. "We should probably get back to the party and, you know, do everything in our power to avoid Archer and Izzie."

"Right," Addison agreed, as she and Alex headed off in opposite directions.

"Montgomery," Charlotte called out, grabbing Addison's arm as she walked by her. "How is it that you look more frazzled now than you did before you left? Was the sex not good or something?"

"There was no sex," Addison hissed.

"Wait, what? How is that possible?" Charlotte asked in confusion. "I saw you two leave together."

"Yeah, well, apparently my bathroom is a hot locale to have sex. So hot, there's a wait list."

"Who'd ya walk in on?" Charlotte asked, a slow smile forming on her face.

Before Addison could say anything, Archer walked over to them. "Hey, Addison; hey, Charlotte," he smiled. "Addison, can I speak to you for a moment?"

Addison nodded and Charlotte mouthed, "Oh," in understanding, chuckling to herself about the inappropriateness of the Montgomery family.

"Look, Addie," Archer began once he and Addison were alone, "about what just happened-"

"Archer," Addison cut in, "I think the less we talk about it the better."

"Okay," he agreed, and turned to walk away. "Oh, Addie," he said, turning around to face her again.

"Yes?"

"Why were you and Alex going to the bathroom together?"

"Excuse me?" Addison asked, trying to buy herself some time to come up with an excuse.

"Why were you and Alex going to the bathroom together?" Archer repeated.

"Um, we, I, um, one of the light bulbs in my bathroom needed to be changed," Addison explained lamely. "We were just going in there to change a light bulb."

Archer shrugged. "The lights seemed fine to me. Your bathroom towels might need to be changed now," he smirked mischievously, "but your lights seemed fine."

"I'm walking away, now," Addison informed her brother, shaking her head in disgust.

She had only taken a couple of steps, when Izzie grabbed her by the arm. "Hey, Addison," she began, pulling away from where Archer could hear them; "I just want to apologize for before."

"Don't worry about it," Addison said dismissively. "I've walked in on Archer having sex before…well, I'd never actually caught him in the act, but it's fine. Besides, word on the street is that you two weren't the only ones having sex in my bathroom tonight so, really, it's no big deal. Things won't be weird between us."

"Um, that's actually not why I was apologizing," Izzie chuckled.

"So, wait, why are you apologizing then?" Addison asked in confusion.

"Well, Archer and I…we stopped you from having sex. Isn't that why you and Alex were going into the bathroom together?"

Addison forced a laugh. "No," she insisted. "One of the light bulbs in there needed to be changed. We were going in there to change a light bulb."

Izzie looked at Addison skeptically. "Has anyone ever told you not to play poker?"

"Well, actually, yes," Addison admitted, "but I don't see-"

"It's smart advice," Izzie interrupted. "You're a bad liar. Now, come with me," Izzie instructed, dragging Addison into the bathroom. "We need to talk."

Archer watched the exchange between his fiancé and his sister. "Did Izzie just drag Addie into-"

"The bathroom," Charlotte finished with a smirk. "Yeah."

"Oh, good," Archer breathed. "So, I'm not the only one who saw that?"

Charlotte shook her head. "Nope."

"What do you, what do you think they're doing in there?" Archer asked.

Charlotte shook her head and shrugged, "Probably nothin' but, Lord, I love how inappropriate your family is."

xxxxx

"Izzie," Addison hissed, "What the hell are we doing in my bathroom together?"

Izzie looked at Addison closely. "The ferryboat accident," she said out of nowhere.

Addison looked at Izzie in confusion. "That's not an answer to my question! What does that even mean?"

"There was a lot going on back then, with Denny dying and George's father and Meredith almost drowning, so it's not like I was looking for it," Izzie rambled. "It could have happened before or maybe after…but it was some time around the ferryboat accident, wasn't it?"

"Izzie, what are you talking about?"

"You and Alex," Izzie said simply. "You guys slept together sometime around the ferryboat accident, didn't you?"

"I don't see why this is important," Addison responded.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Izzie asked. "Come on, you can tell me, Addison."

Addison sighed, "Yes."

Izzie smiled. "It was you, then, wasn't it?"

Addison shot her another confused look.

"Around the time of the ferryboat accident, maybe even a little before, Alex stopped being an ass, and became this really good guy, this great guy even. I always thought it was Ava, who changed him…but it wasn't. It was you."

Addison swallowed hard. "I don't know what you're talking about, Izzie."

"Yes, you do. You bring out the best in him…and you love him."

"Izzie, I don't-"

"Look, I know about your sex arrangement with Alex."

"You do?"

Izzie nodded. "I overheard you two talking about it the first time he came out here and, even if I hadn't, it's pretty obvious that you two are sleeping together. I mean, come on, Addison, did you honestly think I believed you when you told me that you owned an Iowa State t-shirt?"

"Good point," Addison conceded. "Does Archer know?"

"Of course not," Izzie laughed.

"Please don't tell him," Addison begged.

"I won't," Izzie assured her, a mischievous grin slowly spreading across her face. "For a price."

"You're blackmailing me?" Addison asked in disbelief. "Okay, name your price," she sighed, reaching into her purse and pulling out her checkbook.

Izzie laughed. "How very Montgomery-esque of you, but I wasn't talking about money. I want details."

"Details?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah – about you and Alex."

"Wh-what do you want to know?"

"Well, for starters, why don't you just tell him that you love him already?"

"Izzie."

"What? Addison, you and Alex are great together. You and I both know that you two are more than just sex."

Addison sighed, "That's exactly why I'm ending things with him tomorrow morning."

"Wait, what? That's just stupid!" Izzie exclaimed. "You just admitted that you guys are more than just sex. I mean, you hardly put up a fight. So, why, why would you end things tomorrow morning?"

"That's when our sex arrangement ends," Addison answered simply. "We agreed to sleep with each other until the morning of your wedding. And that's tomorrow."

"I wasn't asking for the logistical answer," Izzie retorted. "You clearly love him; so why end things?"

"First of all," Addison began, "you need to stop throwing around the word 'love.' And I need to end things with Alex, because I care about him."

"That makes no sense."

Trust me, Izzie, it does."

"Care to explain how?"

"Not really," Addison shrugged.

"Oh, um, okay, that's fine," Izzie said. "I get it."

"Thank you, Izzie."

"It's just, I don't think Archer will," Izzie smirked.

"You know, you and Archer are perfect for each other," Addison said dryly.

"So are you and Alex," Izzie shot back. "So why are you _really _ending things with him tomorrow?"

"I don't want to," Addison admitted. "It's just, I can't have kids. And Alex, he'll be a great father someday, and I can't take that away from him."

"Wait, so you're saying that you can see yourself having children with Alex?" Izzie asked in disbelief.

"Were you not just listening to what I said," Addison retorted. "I _can't_ have kids."

"Right," Izzie said sympathetically. "But when you look at Alex, you think serious relationship? He's the type of guy you'd want to have kids with, right?"

Addison shrugged. "I guess. But, Izzie, Alex and I would never work out…between the age difference and the living in different places…and even if we were able to get over all of that, he should still be able to have a child of his own when he wants to."

"These all sound like excuses, Addison."

"He's gonna want children, Izzie."

"So, wait, you two have talked about this? You and Alex have talked about having kids together?" Izzie exclaimed gleefully.

"What part of I can't have kids are you not comprehending," Addison asked in frustration. "We talked about _his_ kids. Not _our_ kids."

Izzie shrugged. "There are other options, you know. And from what you're saying, it sounds like you both want children, so I'm still not seeing what the problem is."

Addison sighed. "I want a baby so badly, and not being able to have one kills me. It weighs on me every day. Alex has every right to want to have his own kids, and I, I probably can't give him that. I know how badly it hurts to want a baby and not be able to have one. I couldn't put Alex through that."

"Have you ever talked about it with him?"

"There's nothing to discuss."

"Addison, you should talk to him. At the very least, you need to tell him that he's more than just sex to you."

Addison shrugged, unconvinced. "I don't know."

"Look, Addison, relationships and marriage, they're all about 'for better or for worse.' And trust me…Alex, he's really good at being there for the 'for worse' part. He'd stick with you through the 'for worse'; but I think you two would have a lot of 'for betters' together. You should talk to him."


	9. I Swear

A/N: Here's the next chapter – "I Swear." I hope you like it. Thanks for reading! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 9: I Swear**

"You look beautiful, Iz," Alex smiled, as he stood in the bridal room with Izzie, who was admiring herself in the mirror.

Izzie grinned, "Thanks, Alex. And thanks for being so cool about this. I mean, I don't think most guys would have been okay with being their ex-wife's maid of honor."

Alex nodded.

"So," Izzie began, turning to face Alex, "your sex agreement with Addison ended this morning. How do you feel about that?"

"What? How-how'd you know about that?"

Izzie shrugged. "It's not important. You should just tell her that you love her already."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you love her," Izzie said slowly.

"Iz, we were just sex. And it's over now."

"So, you're okay with that?" Izzie asked.

"With what?" Alex asked impatiently.

"You're okay with being just sex?" Izzie clarified. "You're okay with hooking up with some random woman tonight, while Addison hooks up with some random guy?"

Alex clenched his fists at the thought. "Izzie, if you're trying to make me angry-"

But Izzie interrupted him. "You're okay with just getting on a plane after the wedding's over, and not knowing when you'll see her again? You're okay with you and Addison dating and eventually marrying other people, even though you know that you guys bring out the best in each other, and that nobody else is going to make you as happy as you make each other?"

"Iz, why are you doing this to me?"

"Because your sex arrangement is stupid, and you need to talk to her."

"What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, Addison, I know we agreed to only have casual sex with each other, but I want more. I hope you do too.'"

"Just tell her how you feel," Izzie smiled.

"Tell her how I feel?" Alex shot back. "Hey, Iz, remember that time we went shopping for bridesmaid dresses together?"

"Of course."

"Remember how I didn't buy one?"

"What's your point, Alex?"

"I'm not a woman! I'm not going to sit down with Addison and talk about my feelings. Besides, even if I wanted something more with Addison-"

"Which you do."

Alex rolled his eyes at her. "Even if I wanted something more with Addison, it would never work out. I mean, I still have another year of residency, we don't live in the same state…and even if we were able to get over all that stuff, she wants a baby…_soon_."

"So, you don't want kids?"

Alex blushed. "I don't know," he mumbled, looking at the floor.

"Alex, we were married. I know you're lying."

"I always assumed that someone with my history wasn't supposed to have kids, so I never really saw myself as a father," Alex admitted. "But then Addison said that she thought I'd be a good dad, and she told me about the type of kids she could see me having, and I want that, Izzie. I never thought I would, but I do. And I can see myself with kids. It's crazy, but I can."

"Tell me, Alex, when you think about your future children, do they have a mother?"

"Shut up, Izzie."

Izzie ignored him. "You and Addison would have really good looking children. I mean, relationship issues aside, you two are genetic gold mines."

Alex chuckled at this. Izzie wasn't wrong.

"Or I could see you guys adopting," Izzie added quickly.

"She told you?" Alex asked suspiciously.

Izzie nodded. "She doesn't think she can have children. Is that a deal breaker for you?"

"What? Not having biological kids? No."

Izzie smiled at him. "Hey, Alex, do me a favor? Go talk to Addison."

xxxxx

"Hey, Archer," Alex smiled, knocking on the door to the groom's room. "Is Addison with you?"

"She is."

"Great. Can I borrow her for a second?"

"You can. But don't you have something you want to say to me first?"

Alex looked at Archer quizzically. "Um, Izzie looks beautiful," he offered.

"Of course she does. Izzie _is _beautiful," Archer smiled. "But how do I look?"

"Um, you look nice Archer," Alex chuckled. "Very handsome."

"Thank you," Archer beamed. "I'll get Addie for you."

"Hey," Addison smiled, as she joined Alex in the hallway outside the groom's room.

Alex smiled at the sight of her. "You look, um…wow."

"Thanks," Addison blushed. "You look really nice too. So, um, what's up? Does Izzie need help with her dress or something?"

Alex shifted uncomfortably. "No, Izzie's fine. Her dress looks great. She can't wait to marry your brother."

"Okay, so what's up, Alex?" Addison asked in confusion.

"It's us," Alex explained. "Look, I know our sex agreement ended this morning, but I can't imagine not going home with you tonight…or any night, for that matter, so I was wondering, what would you say about throwing our sex arrangement out the window and giving us a chance?"

Addison felt her pulse quicken. The man that she was in love with wanted to be with her. She wanted to be with Alex. They could have a real shot. But she thought back to her conversation with Izzie and, even though Izzie was convinced that she and Alex could make things work, she knew what she had to do. "I'm sorry, Alex, I can't," she said softly, cringing as she saw the hurt in his eyes.

Alex swallowed hard. "Is it because I still have a year of residency? Is it because we live in different states? Because, Addison, I'll move to LA; I'll finish my residency here."

"Alex."

"Is it because you want a baby?" Alex cut in. "Because I want one too. I know it's crazy and it scares the hell out of me, but I want a baby too."

"Alex, I can't ask you to change your plans for a relationship that may or may not work?"

"Change my plans, Addison?" Alex retorted. "It's a little late for that. My plans changed the day you stuck me on your service. I was going to be a plastic surgeon. I didn't care about my patients; I just wanted to be the jock of the surgical world. I never saw myself going into pediatrics or neonatology, but plans change. Hell, didn't you once tell me that your mother used to say, 'People plan and God laughs'?"

Addison nodded, touched that he remembered that she had told him that.

"So you know as well as anyone that plans mean nothing. So spare me the bullshit about you not wanting to change my plans," Alex finished angrily.

"What do you want me to say?" Addison asked, anger creeping into her voice as well.

"Why won't you give us a chance?" Alex demanded.

"Because I care about you, and I don't want to hurt you."

"Addison, that's the reason I told you that you weren't my girlfriend back in Seattle, and it was stupid because, in the end, we both got hurt. Don't let history repeat itself."

"I'm sorry, Alex," Addison mumbled, fighting back tears. "I can't."

"You're serious?" Alex asked in disbelief.

Addison nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," Alex muttered, as he began to walk away. "And just so you know," he said angrily, stopping and turning to face her, "you were never just sex for me, Addison. You could never be just sex."

"You were never just sex for me either," Addison whispered. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Alex muttered sarcastically. "I should go. You know…see if Izzie needs help or something."

xxxxx

"So, did you talk to Addison?" Izzie whispered to Alex, as they waited for the wedding procession to begin.

"Yeah."

"How'd it go?"

Alex sighed. "Does it look like it went well?"

"Wh-what happened?" Izzie asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Alex whispered. "This is your wedding, so let's focus on getting you down the aisle. Oh, hey look, your wedding is starting. Archer's walking down the aisle."

Alex watched in silence as Mark and Callie made their way down the aisle, followed by Sam and Cristina, and then Meredith and Derek. He extended his arm to Addison, refusing to meet her eyes. She looked at him sadly before linking her arm with his, and they began making their way down the aisle.

"Alex," Addison whispered, as they walked down the aisle. "Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to discuss," Alex responded curtly.

"What the hell is going on with Alex and Addison," Archer hissed from his place on the altar. "They look so freakin' awkward."

"Um, Archer," Derek whispered, "we're in church, so you might want to consider watching your language."

"Right, of course," Archer agreed. "I'm sorry, Reverend," he apologized. "But look at them."

"Alex, please talk to me," Addison tried again.

"Not now, Addison," Alex whispered.

"Oh, I am going to kill them," Archer muttered. "Holy shit! Do you think they're sleeping together?"

"Language," Mark coughed.

"Right," Archer said dismissively. "Do your think they're sleeping together?"

"They call each other a lot," Meredith offered. "Pretty much every day."

"Derek, you were married to Addison…what do you think?" Archer pressed.

"I think this is the absolute worst time to be having this conversation," Derek responded.

"You're no help," Archer sighed in exasperation. "Reverend, do you want to weigh in? I mean, you don't know Addie or Alex, but it might be nice to get the opinion of an objective third party. So, come on, it kind of looks like they're sleeping together, right?"

"Alex, I really am sorry," Addison whispered, as they approached the altar.

"Don't be," Alex said coldly, letting go of her arm. "I get it." And, with that, he began walking away from the altar, towards the back of the church.

"Where the hell is he going?" Archer demanded. "Addison, what the hell is going on with you two?"

Addison felt a lump begin to form in her throat. She could feel her legs shaking. "Should I go after him?" she choked out to Derek, who was standing next to her.

"I'd just let things play out," Derek advised, putting a reassuring hand on Addison's shoulder. "Archer's already causing enough of a scene; you don't need to add to it."

"Okay," Addison agreed, fighting back tears. "You-you really think he's leaving?" she asked. "He wouldn't just leave the wedding, right?"

"I don't know," Derek said softly.

"Addison, are you and Alex sleeping together?" Archer demanded.

But Addison didn't answer her brother. She didn't even hear him. Her eyes, misting over with tears, were glued to Alex, who had just reached the back of the church.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Izzie asked in confusion, as Alex walked up to her.

"Walking you down the aisle," he said simply, extending his arm to her. "You shouldn't have to walk down alone."

"Thank you, Alex," Izzie smiled, linking her arm with his. "Addison really is good for you."

"Izzie, this has nothing to do with Addison," Alex assured her.

"Trust me, Alex, this has _everything_ to do with Addison. But either way, I appreciate this."

Alex did his best to return her smile. "You ready?" he asked.

"Ready," Izzie grinned, as they began making their way down the aisle.

"Oh thank God," Archer muttered, as Alex and Izzie walked towards him.

Addison breathed a sigh of relief, still fighting back the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes. Look at me, Alex, she pleaded silently. Look at me. He did – they met each other's pain-filled eyes for a brief second, but Alex quickly looked away.

"Wow, who knew Evil Spawn could be nice? Even gentlemen-like?" Cristina whispered to Callie.

"Oh, come on," Callie whispered back, "you know as well as anyone that Alex is a good guy."

"He looks like a broken guy to me," Cristina observed, as Alex and Izzie reached the altar. Alex gave Izzie a kiss on the cheek, and took his place next to Meredith.

"Are you okay?" Meredith whispered to him.

"Fine," he whispered back.

"Dearly beloved," the reverend began, "we are-"

"Izzie," Archer whispered, "what's going on with Alex and Addison?"

The reverend looked at Archer disapprovingly.

"Dearly beloved," the reverend began again, "we-"

"I'm sorry, Reverend," Archer interrupted, "but something is going on between my best man and Izzie's maid of honor, and I want to know what it is, so Addie…Alex…one of you better start talking."

At first, neither answered – the church was dead silent. Alex looked over at Addison, who was still struggling to keep her composure. He knew she'd keep it together; her mother taught her never to cry in public, and Addison was a people pleaser but, still, it didn't look like she was going to be offering Archer an explanation any time soon. So he broke the silence. "I'm sorry Archer," he apologized. "Something was going on between us. Or, at least, _I thought_ that something was going on. But it's over now."

Archer looked at Addison. "Addie?" he asked softly. She nodded her head sadly. "Well, okay then," he said, and the wedding ceremony resumed.

"It's over?" Meredith whispered, pulling at Alex's sleeve. "It's really over?"

Alex looked over at Addison, and swallowed hard. "Yeah, Mer, it's over."


	10. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

A/N: I hope you're still liking this story! Here's the next chapter – Can You Feel The Love Tonight. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 10: Can You Feel The Love Tonight?**

"So how are you holding up?" Callie asked, taking a seat next to Addison at the wedding reception.

"Fine," Addison lied.

"Wow, I almost believed you," Callie smirked. "I didn't know what your poison of choice has been tonight, but I figured that some wine might help you chill the hell out," Callie explained, placing a glass of red wine in front of Addison.

"Thanks," Addison smiled. "But I can't drink too much tonight. I'm Archer's best man so it's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Plus, I have to give a toast, so I should probably be sober for that. And then I have to wake up early tomorrow to go to Archer and Izzie's wedding brunch."

"Okay, this is exactly why you need to drink this glass of wine," Callie laughed. "You need to calm down."

"I am calm," Addison responded tensely.

Callie shot Addison a skeptical look.

"Okay," Addison laughed, "maybe a glass of wine wouldn't be the worst thing right now."

Callie grinned as she watched her friend take a sip of her wine. "So," she said, after a few minutes of sitting in silence, "you and Karev?"

"I knew this wine came at a price," Addison muttered. "Yeah, me and Alex."

"That's all I get?" Callie asked, pretending to be hurt.

"Hey, how's Sofia?" Addison asked.

"Adorable as ever. She and Arizona are having a great time at home together, but stop changing the subject. What happened with you and Alex?"

Addison sighed. "When we first found out that Archer and Izzie were getting married, we agreed to this casual sex arrangement, you know, to help us get through the wedding, but, I don't know-"

"It stopped feeling like casual sex," Callie finished.

"I don't know if it ever felt like casual sex," Addison admitted. "Anyway, our arrangement ended this morning, and Alex told me that he wanted more…but I can't."

"Because you don't want more?" Callie asked in confusion.

"Because I can't give him more."

"What?"

Addison sighed. "He deserves more than I can give to him."

"You know, you'd think all this California sunshine would have been good for you. Where's your confidence? You used to be such a badass. What the hell happened to you, Addison?"

Addison was about to respond to her friend when, all of a sudden, the music stopped playing and a hush fell over the room. Archer and Izzie were standing on the center of the dance floor, each with a microphone in hand.

"Do Archer and Izzie sing?" Callie whispered to Addison. "Are they gonna sing a duet or something?"

"You better hope not," Addison responded. "No one in my family can carry a tune."

"Hello," Archer said into the microphone. "My beautiful wife, Izzie, and I just wanted to thank you all for coming to our wedding today, and for helping to make our day so special."

The guests clapped politely.

"But before we continue with the celebration," Izzie added, "Archer and I just want to give a special thank you to Addison Montgomery and Alex Karev, the most incredible best man and maid of honor you could ever ask for. So Alex, Addison; please join us up here on the dance floor."

"You have got to be kidding me," Addison muttered to herself, as she made her way onto the dance floor. "This is a wedding, not a freakin' awards show."

Alex was already up there, looking just as uncomfortable as Addison felt. "Thanks, Izzie. Thanks, Archer," he said. "Can I sit down now?"

"Yeah," Addison agreed. "This was really nice of you, but totally unnecessary."

"Nonsense," Archer said dismissively. Then speaking into his microphone, he grinned, "Please join me in giving a warm round of applause to the greatest best man and maid of honor in the world."

The guests clapped politely, as Alex and Addison both shifted uncomfortably, no longer wanting to be the center of attention.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!" Cristina cried out, clinking her knife against her tequila glass.

Owen looked at Meredith suspiciously. "How much has she had to drink?"

Alex laughed at his clearly intoxicated friend. "I don't think this is the time for that, Yang," he shot back.

"Then you two should dance," Cristina declared.

Owen and Meredith looked at Cristina suspiciously.

"What?" Cristina smirked, taking in the surprised looks on their faces. "Am I not allowed to have a romantic side?"

"Okay, we're taking this away from you," Owen declared, grabbing the glass of tequila from her hand."

"I like that idea," Archer smiled. "A best man, maid of honor dance." Then, turning to Addison and Alex, he whispered harshly, "You two better not make this awkward."

Addison looked at Alex warily. "You okay with this?" she asked.

He shrugged, "Sure. Why not?"

The band began to play, and Alex tentatively put his hand on the small of Addison's back, while she hesitantly placed her hand on Alex's shoulder.

"I honestly don't think they could be more awkward if they tried," Archer smirked to Izzie.

_See the stone set in your eyes  
>See the thorn twist in your side<br>I wait for you._

_Sleight of hand and twist of fate_  
><em>On a bed of nails she makes me wait<em>  
><em>And I wait without you.<em>

_With or without you._

"Alex, I really am sorry," Addison apologized.

"Don't worry about it, Addison. I misread the situation."

"You know that's not true. You know I want you. It's just, I can't be what you need…what you deserve."

"Shouldn't I get to decide that?" Alex asked angrily.

"Please just trust me on this one," Addison begged.

_Through the storm, we reach the shore  
>You gave it all but I want more<br>And I'm waiting for you._

_With or without you_  
><em>With or without you<em>  
><em>I can't live with or without you.<em>

"You know, this song is actually pretty perfect for us," Addison mused.

"Why? Does the couple in the song end up together in the end?" Alex asked.

Addison shook her head. "No," she admitted. "And if they do, they're not happy. At least that's how I've always interpreted this song."

Alex nodded and sighed heavily. "Yeah, this song is pretty perfect for us," he said sadly.

xxxxx

"So, do you want to talk about it?" Izzie asked, walking over to where Addison was standing.

Addison looked at her. "It's your wedding. You should be enjoying it; not worrying about me and my crazy, messed up life."

"Please," Izzie scoffed. "You know how much I love this type of stuff. This is exactly what I want to be doing. And, besides, we're family now; we've gotta look out for each other."

"That's like the fifth woman he's talked to tonight," Addison muttered.

Izzie followed Addison's gaze, and saw Alex talking to a pretty, blonde-haired woman. "He's not into her," Izzie said matter-of-factly.

"He looks pretty into her," Addison insisted.

"He's not. You can see it in his eyes. They're a dead giveaway."

Addison looked at Izzie curiously.

"When Alex is really into a woman, his eyes soften. It's like, he gives you his full attention…like he doesn't want to miss a thing you do or a word you say. He's not into this woman, Addison; trust me."

"You know, it doesn't even matter," Addison sighed. "He wanted more, and I told him no. I have no right to be upset or jealous or anything. I made my bed, now I have to sleep in it."

"But you _are_ upset and jealous," Izzie pointed out. "So why not make things easier on both of you and tell Alex that you love him and that you want to be with him?"

"Izzie, I can't put him through all the heartache that could come with IVF and adoption. I can't hurt him like that."

"Well, I think it's safe to say that what you're doing to him now is killing him," Izzie shot back.

"It's better this way," Addison said. "I'm saving him in the long run."

"I still think you're making no sense," Izzie admitted. "But, I've gotta go mingle with the guests. But, please, Addie, just think about what I said, and give Alex a chance. You guys deserve it…And, yes, I called you Addie; deal with it.

xxxxx

"Hey, is this seat taken?"

"No," Addison smiled, as Sam sat down next to her.

"Are you okay," Sam asked in concern.

"If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that today, I could buy…a pair of shoes…well not a pair of my shoes, but a pair of crocs."

Sam chuckled. "Okay, I'll stop asking then."

"You know, Sam," Addison began, taking a long sip of wine, "we were pretty good together, weren't we?"

"We were good together," Sam agreed.

"And it's actually pretty perfect," Addison continued. "I can't have kids, you don't want kids; I'll never hurt or disappoint you on that front. It's almost poetic or something."

"You want kids, Addison."

"But I can't have them. And you and me, we had a pretty good thing."

"Addison, you're in a weird place right now. I'll be there for you as a friend, but I don't think that us getting back together is a good idea. I don't think it's really what you want."

"It could be," Addison said thoughtfully. "You know, I'm pretty sure it is."

xxxxx

"Where the hell is Addison?" Archer demanded the next morning at brunch. It was the question that had been on Alex's mind all morning, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to ask it aloud.

"She had a lot to drink last night," Callie offered, taking a sip of her coffee. "She's probably still asleep."

"Well, she's my best man; she should be at brunch. I'll go wake her."

"Hey, man, this is your weekend," Alex cut in. "You stay here and enjoy your brunch. I'll go get her."

"Thanks," Archer smiled. "You really are a top notch maid of honor."

"You should probably bring her this," Callie offered, handing Alex a cup of coffee. "I think she's gonna need it."

Alex nodded, accepted the coffee and made his way towards Addison's room. He knocked softly on the hotel room door. "Addison." No answer. "Addison," he tried again, knocking a little louder. Still nothing. "Ad-"

But he was cut off by Addison, who had opened the door. She was standing in front of him in a hotel robe, her eyes puffy and tired.

"Hey, are you okay," Alex asked in concern.

Addison nodded. "Yeah, it was just a long night, that's all."

"Here," Alex said, offering Addison the cup of coffee in his hands. "This should help."

"Thanks," Addison said, gratefully accepting the coffee.

"Um, so everyone's downstairs having brunch. Arch-"

"Is it ten already?" Addison asked incredulously.

"It's 10:30," Alex said looking at his watch.

"Shit! Archer's gonna kill me."

Alex smiled. "Don't worry about Archer. I'll-"

"Hey, Addison; who's at the door?" a male voice called out.

"Is someone with you?" Alex asked in surprise.

"I, um, I," Addison stuttered.

"You spent the night with someone?" Alex hissed, as a lump began to form in his throat.

"I," Addison stammered, feeling the tears springing to her eyes.

Before Addison could get anything else out, a boxer-clad Sam appeared behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Oh, hey, Alex," he smiled.

Alex's mouth went dry, and a wave a nausea washed over him.

"Al," Addison started.

But Alex cut her off. "Save it, Addison," he managed to choke out. "I guess we really were just sex." And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving a tearful Addison staring helplessly at his retreating form.


	11. Faithfully

A/N: I hope you're enjoying the story. Here's the next chapter – Faithfully. I hope you like it, and thanks for reading! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 11: Faithfully**

"Nice of you to finally join us," Archer joked, as Addison entered the room where everyone was having brunch.

But Addison ignored her brother; she was desperately scanning the room for Alex. When she didn't see him, she swallowed hard and walked over to Izzie. "Hey," she whispered, doing her best to keep her composure. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Izzie smiled, standing up. "Let's go out into the hallway, so we can talk in private."

Addison nodded, as the two women made their way into the hallway. "Where's Alex?" she asked.

"He came down here a little while ago and said something about needing to get back to Seattle right away – so he went to the airport to try to catch an earlier plane. He seemed really frazzled," Izzie explained. "Hey, are you okay?" Izzie asked in concern as she watched Addison begin to break down in front of her.

"I did something really, really terrible," Addison confessed tearfully. "I hurt Alex so badly

"Addison, whatever it is, I'm sure he'll forgive you. He's in love with you."

"It's not the type of thing a person forgives easily, and I don't deserve to be forgiven," Addison said sadly. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Alex is a great guy, and I care about him, and I know he cares about me a, truth be told, I think we could work, and I want us to work…but I messed it up. I messed everything up."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is," Izzie assured her sister-in-law.

"I slept with someone else last night, and Alex found out about it. He looked so crushed."

"Did it mean anything?"

"It doesn't matter. I slept with someone else. That's a relationship ender, trust me."

"You're relationship with Derek was over before you slept with Mark," Izzie said softly. "It wasn't the adultery that ended your marriage…at least, not really. And, yes, Alex is probably mad, and he has every right to be mad, but he's not Derek, and your relationship with Alex is different from your relationship with Derek. Give Alex a week to cool off, and then try talking to him. I mean, it can't hurt, right?"

Addison shrugged, unconvinced.

"Trust me, Addison; you and Alex…you're worth fighting for."

xxxxx

"Hey, Derek," Addison said, as she stepped off the elevator and onto the surgical floor of Seattle Grace Hospital a week later.

"Addison, what are you doing here?" Derek asked. "Did the chief call you out here for a case?"

"No, I came to talk to Alex."

"Good luck with that," Derek said. "You destroyed him. He's like a zombie. I tried to take him out for a drink…you know, because I could relate to what he's going through, and I started to talk about what you did to me and how I felt, and he started defending you…telling me that what you did to him is completely different from what you did to me. I mean, he hates you, but he doesn't think you slept with Sam to hurt him. I don't know why he thinks that, but I think he's just as messed up as you are. You guys are pretty perfect for each other in that sense."

"Thanks, Derek," Addison said, rolling her eyes. "Where is he?"

"On-call room; don't tell him I told you that, though. He may have defended you to me but, trust me, he does not want to see you.

"Right," Addison sighed, leaving Derek behind and walking towards the on-call room. "Hey," she said softly, trying to catch Alex's attention, as she opened the door.

Alex turned to look at her. "What do you want?" he asked angrily. "If you came here to sleep with Sloan, you're gonna have to wait. He's in surgery right now. But I think Hunt's free and, hey, that might even be better; you know, that way you can hurt even more people."

"I deserved that," Addison said quietly.

"Why are you here, Dr. Montgomery?" Alex asked coldly.

"So now I'm Dr. Montgomery to you?" Addison asked.

"It seems fair," Alex shot back. "You're Dr. Montgomery to me, and I was just sex to you."

"Alex, you know that's not true," Addison insisted.

"Really?" Alex retorted. "Because it didn't take you long to move on, Addison. You wasted no freakin' time before jumping into bed with Sam."

"Alex, that night with Sam – _that_ was just sex. And I know that doesn't make what I did right in any way, but, Alex, I felt nothing, absolutely nothing, when I slept with him. That never happened with you. That could never happen with you."

Alex shrugged, unconvinced. "That's a nice speech, Addison, but it doesn't make this better.

"I know. Sleeping with Sam was stupid and unforgivable, and I would do anything to take it back but, if it means anything to you, me sleeping with Sam was the textbook definition of just sex."

"I hate you," Alex whispered.

"What?" Addison asked, eyes widening in astonishment.

"You heard me. I hate that you just picked up and moved to California when things got tough. I hate that you told me that you thought I'd make a good dad, because now all I can think about is having a baby with you. I hate that you slept with Sam, and I _really_ hate that I know you didn't do it to hurt me…that it was your fucked up way of trying to protect me…because you're afraid you'll hurt me even worse if you can't have kids with me. I hate you, Addison."

Addison swallowed hard. "I hate you too," she choked out.

Alex stared back at her and shrugged indifferently.

"That's right," she said, taking a step towards him. "I hate that you weren't ready to commit to me back when I lived in Seattle, and I hate that you want me now. I hate that you want to have a baby with me because it makes not being able to have a child even more excruciatingly painful than it already is. I hate that I never got over you, and I hate the fact that I still look to you for comfort, even when you don't know it."

"Oh, please," Alex shot back, "you were over me before you even left for LA," Alex shot back.

"That's not true," Addison defended. "When we were sitting in church together, before Burke and Cristina's…well, whatever you want to call it…do you know how badly I was hoping you'd say that you didn't want Ava, and that you wanted me? Do you know how much it killed me when I came back to Seattle to operate on that baby, who had organs growing on the outside of his body, and saw you and Ava together? I did not get over you right away, Alex. I never fully got over you, and I am not over you now. I don't want to be over you."

"Only because you'd rather be under Sam," Alex retorted.

"Seriously, Alex?"

"What were you expecting, Addison? Did you think you could just come here and apologize and, just like that, things would be cool between us? I loved you, Addison, and you slept with someone else."

"Loved, as in past tense?" Addison choked out.

"Does it really matter?" Alex sighed.

"It does to me."

"Then yes, loved, as in past tense," Alex said. "You should probably go."

"No," Addison said quickly. "No, we've got to talk about this, Alex. We've got to talk about this."

"Addison, I have nothing to say to you."

"Fine," Addison said, tears welling in her eyes. "Then at least listen to me. I love you, Alex. And I'm sorry-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Alex asked. "It's not like we were together. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," Addison insisted. "It matters because I love you. I love you – present tense. I miss being with you, I miss talking to you everyday, I miss you, Alex."

"I can't do this," Alex sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Alex," Addison pleaded.

"Have a safe trip back, Addison," Alex said, swallowing hard. "I'll see you around and, hey, maybe the next time you're in Seattle, we can work on a case together."


	12. Can't Help Falling In Love

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind feedback on this story! Here's the next chapter – Can't Help Falling In Love. I hope you like it, and thanks so much for reading! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 12: Can't Help Falling In Love**

"Addison," Meredith said in surprise, as she opened the front door of her house to find Addison, dressed in her bridesmaid dress and carrying a suitcase, standing in front of her. "You do realize that Archer and Izzie's wedding was a month ago, right?"

Addison nodded. "Is, uh, is Alex home?"

"Yeah," Meredith said hesitantly. "He's upstairs in his room. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to see you, though."

"This will only take a second," Addison promised.

Meredith looked uneasy. "Okay," she finally relented. "But if he asks, Derek let you in."

"Okay," Addison agreed, making her way towards the stairs, and nearly colliding with Derek in the process.

"And people say you can't wear bridesmaid dresses again," Derek teased.

"Funny," Addison shot back, as she made her way up the stairs.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her retreating form.

Addison turned to face him. "The less you know, Derek, the better." And with that, she turned and continued to make her way up the stairs.

Derek and Meredith stared after her. "She's going to see Alex, isn't she?" Derek asked.

"Yeah," Meredith sighed.

Derek shook his head. "Oh, this is gonna be disastrous."

Meredith nodded. "I'll get the Ben and Jerry's ready; one of them is gonna need it."

xxxxx

"Come in," Alex's voice called out, as Addison knocked on his bedroom door.

Addison hesitantly opened the door and walked into his room. "Hey," she said softly.

Alex looked at her and sighed. "I'm gonna kill whoever let you in."

Addison chuckled. "I was told as much."

"So, are you here to sleep with Shepherd? I could give you Jackson Avery's address."

"Okay, that's getting old," Addison warned.

"Sorry," Alex apologized. "You look nice," he said quietly.

Addison smiled. "Thanks."

"You realize that Izzie and Archer already got married, right?"

Addison nodded. "I do, but, uh, I want…I want to recreate Archer and Izzie's wedding."

Alex looked at her angrily. "Addison, Archer and Izzie's wedding was one of the worst weekends of my life. Why in the world would you want to recreate it? Why would you do this to me?"

"To set things right."

Alex looked at her suspiciously.

"Here," she said, going over to her suitcase and pulling out a red boutonnière that was nearly identical to the one that Alex had worn at the wedding. "You need to wear this," she insisted, pinning it to his t-shirt. "There," she smiled, pressing her hand against his muscular chest. "Perfect."

"Addison, you don't have to do this," Alex said.

"Cake?" Addison offered. "Florence made triple berry."

"No thanks, Addison,"

"Oh, come on," Addison pleaded, cutting two pieces of cake, and handing one to Alex.

"Thanks," Alex muttered, accepting the cake and then setting it down on his bed, untouched. "You should probably leave."

Addison sighed heavily. Things were not going as she had planned. "How about some champagne?" she asked with forced cheerfulness. "I brought the brand they served at the wedding."

"It's ten in the morning," Alex protested.

"Like that's ever stopped you in the past," Addison scoffed. "Besides, we're celebrating."

"I can assure you, we're not celebrating," Alex said simply. "But I could use a drink right about now, so yeah, I'll take some champagne."

Addison smiled, handed him a glass of champagne, and sat down on the bed next to him. They sat for a few minutes sipping their champagne in silence.

"Nice iPod speakers," Addison complimented, finally breaking the silence. She reached into her purse, and pulled out her iPod. "Choose a song."

"What?"

"Choose a song," Addison instructed.

"No."

"Come on," she begged. "I've got Amazed, Bless the Broken Road, From This Moment, Unchained Melody, When You Say Nothing At All, Then, Lady In Red, Just The Way You Are, I Swear, Can You Feel The Love Tonight, Faithfully, and Can't Help Falling In Love. Just choose one. Please."

Alex sighed. "Can't Help Falling In Love," he said softly.

Addison smiled. "Good choice," she said, putting her iPod into the iPod speakers, and turning the song on. "Dance with me, Alex?" she asked quietly.

"Why?"

"Because we hardly danced at Izzie and Archer's wedding."

"Your choice, not mine," he reminded her, not moving from his bed.

"One dance and I'll leave," Addison bargained.

"Fine," Alex sighed getting up from his bed, and hesitantly wrapping his arms around Addison.

_Wise men say only fools rush in  
>But I can't help falling in love with you.<br>Shall I stay?  
>Would it be a sin?<br>If I can't help falling in love with you._

"Alex, I really am so sorry," Addison whispered, as they swayed to the music together.

"I know," Alex admitted. "It still hurts, though. I wanted you, Addison. I wanted a life with you, I wanted a future with you, I wanted a family with you – whether it meant having biological children or using a surrogate or adopting or whatever. I wanted that with you."

_Like a river flows surely to the sea  
>Darling so it goes<br>Some things are meant to be.  
>So take my hand, and take my whole life too<br>Cause I can't help falling in love with you._

"I want a life with you too," Addison whispered. "It's just…I don't want to hurt you. I mean, IVF doesn't always work and adoptions fall through all the time, and I'm prepared for that, but I can't handle the thought of you getting your hopes up and being disappointed. I can't do that to you."

"You know," Alex began, "it'll suck if we can't have a child on our own, and it'll suck if IVF doesn't work, and it'll hurt like hell if we apply for adoption and it falls through, but Addison, I'm in love with you, and if part of being with you means fighting like hell to have a baby…I'm in. I'm ready to fight with you."

"You still want me?" Addison asked in surprise. "I thought you said you loved me, past tense."

"Do you still want me?" Alex challenged with a smirk.

"Of course I do," Addison smiled. "I love you, Alex. I'm in love with you. And I really am sorry about sleeping with Sam. It was-"

"In the past," Alex finished. "So stop apologizing, because I love you too," he said before kissing her softly on the lips. "I love you, present tense."

_So won't you please take my hand, and take my whole life too  
>Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you<br>Cause I can't help falling in love, falling in love,  
>I keep falling in love with you.<em>

"You know," Addison began, "I was wrong at the wedding."

Alex looked at her in confusion. "About what?"

"When we danced, you asked me if the couple in 'With or Without You' gets together in the end, and I said no. But I was wrong. I think they do."

Alex smiled and kissed her again. "I think they do too."


	13. You're Still The One

A/N: Here's the final chapter – You're Still The One. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, alerted, and read this story. I really appreciate it! I really enjoyed writing this story (Archer is so much fun to write), and I hope you enjoyed reading it! I hope you like the final chapter, and I'd love to hear what you think about it! Thanks so much for reading! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>With or Without You<strong>_

**Chapter 13: You're Still The One**

"And now, it's time to hear from the bride's brother, Archer," the lead singer of the band announced.

Archer rose from his seat and made his way over to Addison and Alex's table, and raised his glass of champagne. "I first got to know Alex when he and Addison were the maid of honor and the best man at my wedding, six months ago and, from the moment that I saw him and my sister together, I knew there was something between them. And the more I watched them interact with each other, the more I knew that the deal was sealed – that they were supposed to end up together. And, now, here we are today, six months later, at their wedding. And even though 'wise men say, only fools rush in,' they clearly haven't seen Alex and Addie together because they're perfect together and, selfishly, I guess it's nice to find a couple who rushed into marriage even quicker than Izzie and I did. So I'd like to everyone to join me and raise their glasses to my sister, Addison, and her husband Alex – to my best man and her best man. Best of luck to you, Addie and Alex; I love you guys. Cheers."

"Aw, thanks, Archer; that was actually very sweet, Archer," Addison smiled as her brother kissed her on the cheek.

"What can I say," Archer shrugged, "I give a good speech. Now, come on, you know you want to dance with your favorite brother."

Addison smiled. "Of course." And they made their way to the dance floor.

Archer looked over at Izzie, who was leading Alex out onto the dance floor, and smiled. "Can you believe that we in-lawed Izzie and Alex?" he asked his sister, with a smirk. "I'm pretty proud of us, Addie. Even when we settle down, and get married, we still somehow find a way to be inappropriate. I mean, we in-lawed a freakin' divorced couple. That's no easy task."

Addison laughed, "Yeah, but I kind of love that about us."

"Yeah, me too. This really has been a beautiful wedding, Addie," Archer complimented. "And I meant what I said in my speech – you and Alex really are great together. Congratulations."

"Shouldn't I be saying the same thing to you?" Addison asked.

"Wh-what're you talking about?"

"Oh, come on; don't play coy with me…Daddy."

"Izzie told you?" Archer asked in astonishment.

Addison shook her head. "Have you forgotten what I do for a living?" she asked. "But the real giveaway was that Izzie wasn't drinking today and, I mean, come on, who doesn't drink when there's an open bar?"

"Good point," Archer agreed.

"So, how far along is she?"

"Almost three months."

Addison laughed, "Wow, you two certainly didn't waste any time."

Archer shrugged. "I don't know if I'd phrase it that way. We're just not very careful."

"Well, either way, congratulations, Archer," Addison smiled. "Izzie's going to be a fantastic mom and you…well…that kid will be very lucky to have Izzie as a mom," Addison teased.

"Oh, shut it," Archer laughed.

"Mind if I cut in?" Alex asked, as he approached Addison and Archer.

"Not at all," Addison smiled, wrapping her arms around him.

"I'll see you two later," Archer winked.

"I can't believe we're married," Alex whispered once they alone. "And I know I've told you this a million times, today, but you really do look beautiful."

"Thanks," Addison smiled, kissing Alex softly. "You look nice too. So," she began with a laugh, "how do you feel about being in-lawed to you ex-wife and Archer?"

Alex shrugged. "I guess it's a small price to pay for being married to you."

Addison smiled. "So, I'm not supposed to tell anyone," she started, "but I tell you everything, so…"

"Is it about Archer and Izzie?" Alex asked.

"You know?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Izzie just told me. She's never been very good at keeping secrets. Plus, who just drinks water when there's an open bar?"

"They're going to be great parents," Addison smiled.

"They are," Alex agreed.

"You, you still see that for us, right?" Addison asked quietly.

"Addison," Alex smiled, kissing her softly on the lips, "of course I still see that for us. I mean, I know we've been trying without any luck, but we're starting hormone therapy and IVF right after our honeymoon and, I don't know, I just have a feeling it's gonna work."

"You think so?" Addison asked.

"I do," Alex smiled. "You know…I bet that by this time next year, we'll be tripping over all of Carson's toys."

"Carson?" Addison asked, a small smile forming on her face. "I thought you said it didn't go with Karev."

"I changed my mind," Alex shrugged. "I think it goes great with Karev. And, besides," he said, pulling her in closer," I know you really like it."

xxxxx

"Merry Christmas," Alex grinned as he let Izzie and Archer into his and Addison's beach house. "Well, Merry Christmas Eve, I guess," he amended.

"Merry Christmas, Alex," Izzie smiled, kissing him on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Mia" Alex cooed to the squirming fourteen-month-old in Izzie's arms. "I can't believe how big she got," he said to Izzie and Archer. "I mean, we just saw you guys two months ago at her first birthday party, but if feels like she's grown so much since then."

"Well, you know how it is," Izzie smiled. "A month in baby time is like a year in normal time. They grow so fast. The house looks great by the way," she complimented.

"Yeah," Archer laughed. "You and Addie went _almost_ as crazy as Izzie did with the Christmas decorations."

"Very funny, Archer," Izzie said, rolling her eyes at her husband. "But, seriously, Alex," she continued, "it's kind of weird seeing you in the Christmas spirit. You're usually kind of a grinch this time of year."

Alex shrugged. "I've never been a big Christmas person, and Addison has mixed feelings about the holiday, but it's Carsyn's first Christmas, so we wanted to make it special."

As if on cue, Addison entered the living room carrying her seventh-month-old daughter. "Merry Christmas," she smiled, giving both Archer and Izzie a one-armed hug. "Merry Christmas, Mia," she cooed, gently placing a hand on her niece's back.

"Hey, Carsyn," Archer smiled, kissing his niece on the forehead. "Happy first Christmas."

"I swear, Addison," Izzie grinned, "Carsyn looks more and more like you every time we see her."

Addison looked at her daughter adoringly. "She does look like me," she agreed, "but she has Alex's nose."

"So, can I get you guys drinks or food or something?" Alex asked Archer and Izzie as he gently rubbed his daughter's tiny back.

"Definitely," Archer grinned. "Do you need any help?"

"You guys make yourselves at home," Addison smiled. "We'll take care of everything."

"Well, at least let me hold Carsyn while you two get the drinks," Archer offered.

Addison nodded and gave Carsyn to Archer. "So, what's everyone drinking?" she asked.

Archer and Izzie looked at each other and exchanged a smile. "Champagne," Archer said. "We're celebrating."

"What are we celebrating?" Addison asked Alex once they were alone in the kitchen.

"I have no idea," he answered. "Izzie loves Christmas so, I don't know, maybe we're celebrating Christmas."

"You never can tell with those two," Addison chuckled, as she and Alex returned to the living room with four glasses of champagne. Alex took Carsyn from Archer, while Addison handed Archer and Izzie glasses of champagne.

"Hey, I remember the first time the four of us met up here," Archer laughed, as Addison and Alex sat down next to each other on the couch. "You two were sitting right there," he said, pointing to where Addison and Alex were sitting. "And you guys were so ridiculously awkward. And now look at you…sitting on the exact same couch…married…with an adorable baby girl. I'm so proud of you two."

"Um, did he start drinking before he came here?" Addison asked Izzie.

"Oh quiet, Addie," Archer smirked. "I'm just happy for you guys, that's all. Anyway, I want to make a toast," he continued, raising his glass of champagne. "To our new neighbors."

"Well, that's one hell of a non sequitur," Addison laughed.

"And no offense, dude," Alex added, "but why are we toasting your new neighbors? We couldn't have toasted the holiday season, or something more normal? I mean, Addison and I don't even know your new neighbors."

"Except you do," Izzie smiled. "You know the house next to yours?"

"Sam's house?" Addison asked.

"On the other side," Archer laughed.

"Oh yeah," Alex nodded. "I heard that a family bought it just this…wait…you guys bought the house next to ours?"

Archer and Izzie looked at each other and smiled. "We did," Izzie confirmed.

"Look at them," Archer laughed, as he took in Alex and Addison's surprised faces, "they're too excited for words."

"Well, this is definitely a surprise," Addison said. "Not that we're not excited to have you guys as our neighbors," she added quickly.

"It's gonna be nice," Izzie grinned. "Just think, Mia and Carsyn can grow up together, we can have barbeques together, and drink wine together on Friday nights…or Tuesday nights."

"And we can baby-sit Carsyn when you two want to have sex, and vice-versa with Mia," Archer added.

"Yeah, because that's very neighborly," Addison teased.

"Well, we're also family," Archer reminded her.

"I'm not sure that's really a family thing either," Alex laughed.

"Oh, come on," Archer pressed. "We could have a code word, like, oh, I don't know, 'eggnog,' and whenever one of us says 'eggnog,' the other couple will take the kids, so that the 'eggnog' couple can have sex. What do you think? You love it, right?"

Addison laughed. "Well, eggnog rule aside, I don't think we could ask for better neighbors."

"I agree," Alex grinned, raising his glass of champagne. "To our new neighbors."

xxxxx

"Hey, Sweetie," Alex smiled, as he walked into Carsyn's room to soothe his crying daughter. "Hey, it's okay," he said softly, lifting Carsyn out of her crib and cuddling her closely against his chest. "It's okay, I've got you. Hey, it's 2:33am, you know what that means?" Alex asked, as he rubbed soft circles on his daughter's back. "It's officially your first Christmas. Merry Christmas, Carsyn," he smiled, as his daughter continued to whimper softly. "Hey, what do say we go out into the living room and look at the tree and the decorations?" Alex offered. "Will that make you feel better?" he asked, as he carried his daughter out into the living room and stood with her in front of the Christmas tree. "You like the tree, don't you?" Alex laughed, as Carsyn began to settle down, reaching out her tiny hand to touch the lights on the Christmas tree.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Addison asked as she walked up alongside Alex, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"She was having trouble sleeping," Alex explained. "And, well, she loves the tree, so I brought her out here. I think she was getting impatient, you know, with this being her first Christmas an all. Plus, she's our daughter…patience isn't exactly a virtue that either of us possesses.

"Merry First Christmas, Carsyn," Addison smiled, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek. Then, turning to Alex, she put her hands on her hips; "I'm kind of patient," she insisted.

"Well, you're lucky that Carsyn and I aren't," Alex smirked. "Otherwise, you'd have to wait a few more hours before getting this," he said, reaching under the tree and handing Addison a small box wrapped in shiny silver wrapping paper. "Merry Christmas, Addie."

"Alex, I told you nothing expensive this year," Addison warned.

"How do you know it's expensive?" Alex defended.

"The wrapping paper," Addison smirked. "It's a dead giveaway."

"Addison, I'm an attending now; I can afford to get you expensive gifts. And, besides, this gift isn't from me; Carsyn wanted to get it for you. I can't help it if she has expensive taste."

Addison shot her husband an appreciative smile. "Alex, you really didn't have to-"

"So are you going to open your present already?" Alex interrupted. "Because Carsyn and I are dying over here in suspense."

"Okay," Addison smiled as she carefully unwrapped the gift – a breathtaking emerald and black diamond necklace. "Alex," she breathed, "this is gorgeous."

"Carsyn picked it out," he smiled.

"Well, Carsyn Alexandra Karev, you have incredible taste in jewelry," Addison complimented, giving Carsyn a kiss on the cheek. "You are very clearly my daughter." Then, turning to Alex, she smiled, "I love it; thank you."

"It's Carsyn's birthstone," he said quietly. "The emerald."

Addison wrapped her arms around Alex. "Carsyn has the best dad in the world," she whispered in his ear.

"You really think so?" he asked.

"I do," she smiled, kissing him softly on the lips. "And I love you…more than you even know."

"I love you too," Alex smiled, meeting Addison's eyes. "And we love you too, Carsyn," Alex grinned, as his daughter squirmed in his arms.

"That's right," Addison agreed, taking Carsyn from Alex's arms, and holding her closely. "Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Carsyn." Then, turning her attention to Alex, she asked, "So, do you think we should try to get Carsyn to go back to sleep now? She's going to be cranky tomorrow."

"Let's just sit here for a couple of minutes," Alex bargained, as he sat down on the couch, "and, you know, enjoy our first Christmas together as a family."

"Okay," Addison acquiesced, sitting down next to Alex, and leaning against his chest.

Alex wrapped his arms around Addison and Carsyn, and Addison couldn't help smiling, feeling incredibly lucky to be spending Christmas – and the rest of her life – with the two people she couldn't live without.

_xxxxx_


End file.
